求雅思大作文批改,请给一个大概的分数,thx.题目是2010年12月11日的考题.在线等.scientistnowfindthatpeoplehavehealthdamagebecausetheyeattoomuchjunkfood.Somepeoplethinktheanswertothisproblemistoeducate

Question

求雅思大作文批改,请给一个大概的分数,thx. 题目是2010年12月11日的考题. 在线等.
scientist now find that people have health damage because they eat too much junk food. Some people think the answer to this problem is to educate people to eat less junk food, but some people think educate will not work. Discuss this two points and give your opinion.
Junk food has come under fire over the past decade, following people's growing concern on health as junk food uses additives, reduces nutritional value by the machine program of manufacture. Educating people to change their eating habits may be a solution of the problem. Some people hold opposite opinion, they think education is not the way to resolve the issue.
the people holding the latte view soppose that junk food is likely to attract customer's purchase intention, because of the low price, good taste, and high calorie, which can meet their simple dietary needs. Therefore, without meeting people's basic feeding needs, educating peopel to eat less junk food will not success.
However, i can hardly assent to this idea, in my opinion, the problem can be solved by promoting the drawbacks of junk food to people as the education method. Nowday, eating is not only a matter of filling up our stomachs, the demand for "health" in our food overrides the basic feeding needs. As a result, people who consider about health can accept the education of promotion is about the bad side of junk food. Secondly, having seen the health examples or knew many serious health hazards are associated with junk food, people will have the desire to protect their health, which is absolutely the effect of education.
I believe that we should give the education a strong role to assist us to gain a healthy life by eating less junk jood. (272)
满分是9分
能得多少分,请从词汇,句型和全文立意上分析批改谢谢.

Answer 1

5.5吧 整体没有什么问题,条例清晰,但是和高分作文还有一定差距.