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雅思作文修改Successfulsportsprofessionalscanearnagreatdealmoremoneythanpeopleinotherimportantprofessions.Somepeoplethinkthisisfullyjustifiedwhileothersthinkitisnotfair.Discussboththeseviewsandgiveyourownopino
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雅思作文修改
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions.Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is not fair.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinoin.
Unlike other important occupations,sports professional are paid a deal of money.Some people think it is not fair while others think it is deserved.
Many people believe the athelets should not be the group which get a much higher income than the others working on the other essencial jobs.The distribution of weath is determined by the contribution a person makes to the whole society.They compare the professional atheles with those of the top of the scientists,architecture engineers and doctors,and find that any one of the other occupations can create more weath for the whole society.Accordingly,they insist the sport salaries is reletively too large and this phenomenom may cause the society focus too much on sports but ignore other essencial vocations.
Those who are convinced that the sport professionals deserve the super salary might argue that they are suffering a huge pressure from both society and themselves.As a sportman,occupying by the fierce compititions,which are necessary and consistant,they have to live under strongly pressured situation .At the same time,the media and public’s focus on them make they have little privacy out of spotlight.All of these factors taking into consideration,a large number of people believe that the athelets deserve the high paid.
From my point of view,I am convinced that it is justified for the sports professionals being a group of high paid.As a public character exposed under the spotlight and suffering the huge pressure ate the same time,the sportsman absolutely should be a super salary.
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions.Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is not fair.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinoin.
Unlike other important occupations,sports professional are paid a deal of money.Some people think it is not fair while others think it is deserved.
Many people believe the athelets should not be the group which get a much higher income than the others working on the other essencial jobs.The distribution of weath is determined by the contribution a person makes to the whole society.They compare the professional atheles with those of the top of the scientists,architecture engineers and doctors,and find that any one of the other occupations can create more weath for the whole society.Accordingly,they insist the sport salaries is reletively too large and this phenomenom may cause the society focus too much on sports but ignore other essencial vocations.
Those who are convinced that the sport professionals deserve the super salary might argue that they are suffering a huge pressure from both society and themselves.As a sportman,occupying by the fierce compititions,which are necessary and consistant,they have to live under strongly pressured situation .At the same time,the media and public’s focus on them make they have little privacy out of spotlight.All of these factors taking into consideration,a large number of people believe that the athelets deserve the high paid.
From my point of view,I am convinced that it is justified for the sports professionals being a group of high paid.As a public character exposed under the spotlight and suffering the huge pressure ate the same time,the sportsman absolutely should be a super salary.
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答案和解析
这么小气一分不给,哪有人给你细心地全文修改啊?我就算免费帮你改第一段吧:SPORTS PROFESSIONALS是指职业运动员,是人,你的UNLIKE ...从句讲的是"其他职业",不对应啊,应该是PEOPLE IN OTHER OCCUPATIONS才对;另外A GRE...
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