请英语高手帮我点评这篇作文.1各大学开设了各种各样的选修课2学生因为各种原因选择了不同的选修课3以自己为例WhatElectivestoChooseWiththedevelopingofthesociety,thestudentsneedtodevelopthemselves

Question

请英语高手帮我点评这篇作文.
1 各大学开设了各种各样的选修课
2学生因为各种原因选择了不同的选修课
3以自己为例
What Electives to Choose
With the developing of the society,the students need to develop themselves in every aspect,In order to let the students fit into the world more quickly,every college has opened all kinds of electives for students.According to the survey,we know that 90% students are agreed with the college to opened the electives for them to choose.The students choose different electives because of all kinds of reasons.Some may choose exercise class because they like sports.In order to improve their handwriting,some may choose calligraphy class.Students may also choose dance class and so on.According to different students'interest,they can choose different electives.But on the other hand,sometimesyou may choose the elective which you don't like.Each elective ask for limited students so sometimes you might lose the chance.
Now,I'm a Grade 2 student at college,and I have choose my elective two times.Because there were so many people to choose the elective at the same time,I miss the elective which I interest in at that two times.But no matter what elective we choose,if we try our best to it ,wo can also learn a lot of knowledge.

Answer 1

let.more quickly改为adjust students to the world more quickly更好
all kinds of重复出现,显然不太好,可以尝试various或者a variety of
in order to重复, 可以尝试for + Ving
choose的过去分词是chosen,aspect是有复数形式的
注意be interested in的结构,
小细节什么的自己再检查一下,不知道你是不是在为四级准备作文,记住两点：
1、文章中起承转合的过渡词千万不可以重复,给我邮箱,我给你点新东方作文高分句型, 你的文章写的太简单了,如果是四级,作文应该在80分左右.四级作文应该很容易过100的
2、作文要千万注意,任何单复数,三单、时态这样的基本语法点,不可以出现任何错误,否则你的作文一下就会降一个档次的