急!英文稿修改〈IfIamacadreofStudentUnion〉Everyrespectleader,everyteacheranddearclassmates,Goodmoring,everyone!MynameisYaoHuan.IstudyinGradeOneClass.WepassedtheexamnationandstudyedinZFLS(Zhengzhou

Question

急!英文稿修改〈If I am a cadre of Student Union〉
Every respect leader,every teacher and dear classmates,
Good moring,everyone!
My name is Yao Huan.I study in Grade One Class _____.We passed the examnation and studyed in ZFLS(Zhengzhou Foreign Language School) with the hopes of classmates and the best wishes of parents.In the charming campus,we are very confident about our future.
When I saw the cadre of Student Union excited telling us about the school and the classmates doing the chores happily,a kind of strong sense of responsbility was brimming in my heart.At that time,I decided to join in them.
I really know that as a student,study is the foundation.In my primary school,I took part in managing the class and took the first place of our school.The cadre of Student Union must not only have good grades,but also good at every side.I was a little reporter of Chinese Journalist Association.Then,I interviewed a lot of famous people,such as the secretary of Provincial Party Commitee named Wang Quanshu,and so on.
Achievement can only represent the past.Confidence may declare the future.
If I'm a cadre of Student Union,I will do the chores of the campus pradically and write down the working daily.I'll sum up the working experience and perfect my working method.And jion in the Student Union which oganized all the activities energetically.
If I'm a cadre of Student Union,I will ask for the classmates' opinion as soon as possible and receive their good idea.I will fixed the time to do self-criticism and know the shortcoming in the work deeply.And I will correct it and male the classmates understand and support Student Union.
If I'm a cadre of Student Union,service is my aim.Contribution is my faith.Unite is my belief. Collaboration is my way.I believe that under your helping,I can do better and better.
I can't use any beautiful words to fill my lecture,but I can use my confidence and truth to show you my ability.Let you know me and support me!Let me try!Thank you very much!
能否帮我把这篇文章修改一下呀,主要修改语法错误!谢谢!

Answer 1

1、第一句中的every teacher中的every可以去除,避免重复.
2、应该先说Class XX,Grade XX 表示地点应该从小到大.
3、最好改成We studyed in...and have already/just passed.
4、I really know that as a student,study is the foundation这样说更好：study is our elementry/fundamental duty.
5、took the first place of our school意思不明确,可以修改成took the first place of study in our school或者achieved the highest score in our school
6、but also good at every side 缺少谓语,要加入be动词
7、Then,不能有逗号
8、interviewed要使用完成时态
剩下来不及看了啊……呵呵,可以讨论哦