研究生面试自我介绍2之第二部分,求修改!如题,希望能改正：1.错误的地方2.不够生动的地方.习惯用法什么的.IntroducemyreasonforpreparingthepostgraduateexamDuringthepastfouryears,Ihavelearnedalotofp

Question

研究生面试自我介绍2之第二部分,求修改!
如题,希望能改正：
1.错误的地方
2.不够生动的地方.习惯用法什么的.
Introduce my reason for preparing the postgraduate exam
During the past four years,I have learned a lot of professional knowledge and practical skills,but gradually,I realize it is not enough.In my opinion,further study is actually urgent for me to realize and finally achieve self-value.Life is precious,it is necessary to catch any opportunity for self-development,especially in the competitive modern society.Therefore,I prefer to go on for further education.
Why do you choose to study in our department?
Because I really like your department of professional,can come to our department learning is my dream,if I get a chance to come to study here,I want to continue to receive professional training,in order to dreams,I'll keep trying.
About your future plans：
If I am admitted my ideal research field.I hope I can learn knowledge of computer systems,especially in the environmental art design field.Sincerely,I wish is to get a to environmental art design concept of complete understanding.On the other hand,I was dreaming of the participation of relevant projects some of my major,for this reason,I will gain more experience in practice.And I hope that through continue to learn,to expand their knowledge base.In a word,I will in future study life after carefully study and research.
Do you have any hobbies?
In my spare time,I like reading,collect CARDS and friend exchanges,shopping,etc.
I also like English very much,I like watching English films and listening to English songs and learn English well,I believe that there is still a long way,however,I will not give up,because I realize that English is a bridge connecting our country and the outside world.Learning English is the most direct and effective method for intercourse and useful,each country and we will put the advanced knowledge and technology from other countries.
第一部分同样求助,我想问题应该是在一起的
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采用者另加50分!
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另,本人就是英语差不知道怎么说才来提问的,如二楼那样讲倒是简单,但是我实在不知道怎么改好.请大大说清楚该怎样说才好.

Answer 1

Introduce my reason for preparing the postgraduate exam
During the past four years, I have developed a good command of my professional knowledge and master a lot of practical skills which is very important for my future career, but gradually, I realize it is not enough. In my opinion, further study is actually urgent for me and achieve my self-value ultimately . Life is a mixture of opportunity and challenge, it is necessary for me to catch any opportunity reachable for my self-development, especially in the increasingly competitive modern society. Therefore, I prefer to go on for further education.
Why do you choose to study in our department?
Because I really like your department of professional.
And more importantly, to come to our department for my further study is my longlast dream, if I get a chance to come to study here, I want to continue to receive professional training, in order to realize my dreams, I'll keep trying.
About your future plans：
On one hand,If I am admitted my ideal research field. I hope I can study further over the knowledge of computer systems, especially in the environmental art design field. Sincerely, what I wish is to get to environmental art design concept of complete understanding.
On the other hand, I have been dreaming of an active participation in relevant projects in some of my major, for this reason, I will gain more experience in practice. And I hope that by continuously learning, I can expand my knowledge base. In a word, in future ,apart from my daily study and research ,I will also study life
.
Do you have any hobbies?
In my spare time, I like reading, collect CARDS and friend exchanges, shopping, etc.
I also like English very much, I like watching English films and listening to English songs and learn English well, I believe that there is still a long way to go before I arrive at a high level, however, I will never give up, because I realize that English is a bridge connecting our country and the outside world. Learning English is one of the most direct and effective methods for intercourse and useful, each country and we will put the advanced knowledge and technology from other countries.