最好加点亮点我觉得写得太平了这是一篇演讲稿Everyonemayhavehisowndream.Someonemaywanttoberich,someonemaywanttobebeautiful,andsomeonemaywanttohavepower.ButI’mdifferentfromthem.Mydreamisspecial.Iwant

Question

最好加点亮点 我觉得写得太平了 这是一篇演讲稿
Everyone may have his own dream.Someone may want to be rich,someone may want to be beautiful,and someone may want to have power.But I’m different from them.My dream is special.I want to have a pair of wings.Because I want to fly in the sky,I like the feeling of freedom.
If I have a pair of wings,I’m sure it will be very wonderful.I can fly below the blue sky with the birds.I can enjoy the music of birds’.I can fly across the cloud and the small wind will blow past my face.The feeling must be the same as that my mother caresses me.
I can fly over the sea,below the rainbow,through the forest I can see all the wonderful view.But I know that it will never be uteri have another instead.I want to have a fly of my own.The plane must be very small and light.It has to carry only one person.It can fly by wind or sunshine.It can fly for a very long time.And the important thing is that it must be very save.
I’m sure I can have this plane some day.And I can have fly to everywhere I want.
要具体的内容 句子 演讲的气势

Answer 1

给你提几点建议,我觉得第一段还不错,运用了排比的句式.第二段需要改进一些,建议你第二段先概括写一些地点,第三段再添加写景物描写.比如说watch all the flowers,dance with the wind,painting the sky等.