求助帮忙看看小作文剑桥7text1的第一次写请专业人士给个分数和建议修改等跪谢·~Fromthetablebelowwecangettheinformationthatpercentageofnationalconsumerexpenditureisquitedifferent.Studingthisdat

Question

求助帮忙看看小作文 剑桥 7 text1 的 第一次写 请专业人士给个分数 和 建议 修改等 跪谢·~
From the table below we can get the information that percentage of national consumer expenditure is quite different.Studing this data we can get close to this five contries and try to know more about their people or their country.
First,as we seen consumers of Ireland and Turkey are spend most of their money on food、drinks or tobacco.I think most of the people there are like eating and no matter what happened they do not want to drop their eating level.
However the people in Italy and Spain spend most of their money on clothing or footwear.The person there are like catching up fashion and very open I think.In Spain people spend only 1.98% on lesisure or education.I guess this is not because their people’s lesture level is lower than others but because the government always put a vast number of money on this parts.So people there need not put money on lesture or education themselves.
Lastly I think from the percentage of national consumer expenditure by category of 5 countries.The consumers in Sweden have the most suitable sense of consumption.They spend 15.17% on food to full their stomach an 5.4% on clothing to make their life more colourful.The most important is that they also spend a lot of money (3.22%) on education.I think it is prove that everyone there is know the knwoledge is power.

Answer 1

第一段的第一句话要修改：From the table below we can get the information that different country has different percentage of national consumer expenditure.
第二段的第一句话要改：First,as we seen consumers of Ireland and Turkey spend most of their money on food、drinks or tobacco.第二句把第二句中people前的the去掉.