一篇自我介绍求订正立文结构上希望给点建议.最好能帮我扩充一点,老师要求是600字呢Self-introductionHi,everybody,mynameis.I'm19yearsold.I'masophomorestudentatShandongNormalUniversityandImajorinJournali

Question

一篇自我介绍 求订正
立文结构上希望给点建议.最好能帮我扩充一点,老师要求是600字呢
Self-introduction
Hi,everybody,my name is .I'm 19 years old.I'm a sophomore student at Shandong Normal University and I major in Journalist.Maybe I will become a good journalist one day.
My hometown is Jiangxi,I was born and raised there.It's not a modern city but the scenery is very beautiful.As we all know,the Shanqingshan Mountain,Longhu Mountain,and Poyang Lake are famous.I'd be glad to show you around the town whenever you come and visit me.
In my spare time,I prefer to reading noverls to enlarge my knowlesge.It's never too late to learn,and I enjoy reading.In addition,I like sports,especially running,It's not only get myself into shape but also relax myself,ease my pressure.I usually run back to my domitory or run to the dining room.Sometimes I travel and climb moentains with my friends,I enjoyed it so much.I've been dreaming of a long journey by bike for a long time,because it sounds pretty exciting and adventurous.I'm sure I will achieve it one day.
From [rimary school to senior high school,I can hardly make my own decision,I'm shy and timid.I deficient in self-confidience.This always annoyed me a lot.Once,I couldn't go out by myself; I could never say a word before others open their mouth first; I feared to stand in the stage to introduce myself or show myself.There are so many things i couldn't do in the past.But now,everything start to change.I made my own decision; I can travel a long distance without my parents; I start to stand in the stage ,singing and dance.There are so many things I can do now.

Answer 1

错误列如下:
1. I'm a sophomore student "studying in" Shandong Normal University
2.I major in Journalist "Department".
3.Maybe I will become a good journalist one day.
("或许"我会变成好记者→你自己都不确定自己会不会是好记者 自己都不相信自己 谁相信你? 最好改成 我一定会变成一个好记者 maybe i will改成i should absolutely become a superior journalist one day. )
4. My hometown is "in" Jiangxi
5. whenever you come and visit me.→whenever you come and pay me a visit
6.I prefer to reading→prefer reading(prefer + Ving)
7.noverls to enlarge my knowlesge.拼写错误 应改成novels in order to enlarge my knowledge(稍微改的高级一点的用法)
8.It's not only get myself into shape but also relax myself,ease my pressure. 改成Running can not only enable me to remain fit but also ease my pressure.
9.climb moentains拼写错误 应改成mountains
10.I enjoyed 错误 应改成enjoys(常常做的事情 属於事实 用现在简单式 不用过去式)
11.everything start"s"(主词属单数 用单数动词)
不知道这篇自我介绍是用来做什麼的
不过 如果是申请工作或是大学系所
记者这份工作势必要和人群接触
什麼害羞拉 不敢上台讲话拉 这种负面词汇+无益於此工作的 最好是不要用
本人专业为同声传译 在政府机构和私人企业里工作
有问题可以再询问 如若有空会给你回信 太急的则比较不能 因为要工作 不一定能在短时间内回覆 要是耽误了不好
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