求高手帮忙批改一篇CET-4的作文.提示1.目前越来越多的人选择自驾游的方式旅行2自驾游的利与弊3我的观点Onself-drivingTourNowadays,thereisagrowingconcernovertheissuethatmoreandmorepeoplegotravelons

Question

求高手帮忙批改一篇CET-4的作文.
提示
1.目前越来越多的人选择自驾游的方式旅行
2 自驾游的利与弊
3 我的观点
On self-drivingTour
Nowadays,there is a growing concern over theissue that more and more people go travel on self driving,for it may well come
as a surprise to learn between the advantage and disadvantage.
Some peoplethink that self-driving is dangerous,but in my opinion,self-driving is convenient.
Why do I hold this idea.There are a variety of factors which can account for
it.The most important reason is that I can drive to whatever I want in holidays.
Another majoy factor is that I needn’t to catch up with the schedule.The most
frequently stressed one is that we have a private zone in our car.
From what hasbeen discussed above,we may finally draw a conclusion that due attention
should be given to the self-driving tour,so as to make our life more colorful.
这篇作文如果满分是15分的话,可以得到多少分,还有就是有没有一些改进的意见,我需要意见.
我这只是套了一个模版，这种作文可以得多少分？

Answer 1

On self-drivingTour（tour是可数名词,应改为On the self-drivingTour ）
Nowadays,there is a growing concern over the issue that more and more people go travel（改成travelling） on self driving,for it may well come
as a surprise to learn between the advantage（没有错,但最好加上s） and disadvantage（加s）.
Some people think that self-driving is dangerous,but in my opinion,self-driving is convenient.
Why do I hold this idea.There are a variety of factors which can account for
it.The most important reason is that I can drive to whatever（wherever） I want in holidays.
Another majoy factor is that I needn’t to（可省略to） catch up with the schedule.The most
frequently stressed one is that we have a private zone in our car.
From what hasbeen discussed above,we may finally draw a conclusion that due attention
should be given to the self-driving tour,so as to make our life more colorful.
对于四级的作文,你的字数有点少,而且不符合上述三个题点,望改进!