这篇英文作文刚写的不介意的话不深感激还一个月就考试了紧张Aswecanseeformthepicture,anoldmanwasknockeddownbyacar,buttwopeoplepassedbyrefusedtohelphimandwithvariousofexcuses,suchpheonmenonofco

Question

这篇英文作文刚写的 不介意的话 不深感激 还一个月就考试了 紧张
As we can see form the picture,an old man was knocked down by a car,but two people passed by refused to help him and with various of excuses,such pheonmenon of cold and cruelty was so astonishing that we cannot help asking where's the chinese virtues of good samaritan which we former pursued?
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There are numerous traditional Chinese virtues and good moral character,and spirit of take pleasure in helping others is no doubt one of the most valuable ethic which should be encoursed and maintained.Unfortunately,with the increasing pace of modern life,people's living condiction increases year after year,but the consciousness of morality has declined year by year,what a rediculous and odd contrast.We can take Foshan small Yue-yue tragedy for example,it is obviously reveals that not simply a dramatically decline of the morality but also a serious potential threat to chinese traditional value system,if this spirit ever perished or been far away form us,it would be a tragedy of immeasureable proportions.
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Accordingly,it is imperative for us to take some measures to enhance the sense of good samaritan in our society.Such like carry out a nation-wide campagin pubilcizing our tradition heroic deeds and appeal to our government to reward people material incentives or medals who are ready to help others,only in this way can we reestablish value fashion guiding people to build a more harmonious society.

Answer 1

As we can see form the picture,an old man was knocked down by a car,but two people 【passing】by refused to help him 【and去掉】 with various 【of去掉】excuses.Such pheonmenon of 【coldness】 and cruelty 【is】 so astonishing that we cannot help asking where's the chinese virtues of good Samaritan which we former pursued 【and worshiped】?

There are numerous traditional Chinese virtues and good moral character.【The】 spirit of taking pleasure in helping others is no doubt one of the most valuable 【ethics】 which should be 【encouraged】 and maintained.Unfortunately,with the increasing pace of modern life,people's living condiction increases year after year,but the consciousness of morality has declined year by year.What a rediculous and odd contrast! We can take Foshan small Yue-yue tragedy for example,it 【is去掉】 obviously reveals that 【it is】 not 【only】 a 【dramatical 】decline of the morality but also a serious potential threat to Chinese traditional value system.【If this spirit 【had】ever perished or been far away form us,it 【would have been 】a tragedy of 【unmeasurable】 proportions. 【或者这一句全部省去不要】

Accordingly,it is imperative for us to take some measures to enhance the sense of good samaritan in our society.【This is like carrying】 out a nation-wide campagin 【publicizing】 our 【traditional】 heroic deeds 【to】 appeal to our government 【rewarding】 people 【with】 material incentives or 【giving】medals 【to those】 who 【have helped】 others.【Only】 in this way can we reestablish 【our fine traditions and good values 】【and guide 】people to 【building】 a more harmonious society.
恕我直言,你的整体文章本来可以很不错,但是,由于过多运用了生僻词或直接来自词典上的、你不熟悉的词,所以,反而增加了失误.
高考书面表达的写作原则：
【不用你没有学过的词,不写你没有写过的句子】 .即,你写作中所使用的词汇 、句子,都应该是你所学过的、你使用过的、用法和结构搭配你都熟悉的,这样就可能将错误减少到最低限度.
尽管如此,但是看得出来,你的写作功底相当不错!继续努力吧——多用熟悉的词汇、结构和句型,你会写得更好的!
祝你开心如意!O(∩_∩)O~~