英语作文,自学写的,可以麻烦指点一下嘛inrecentdecades,itisnoticedtherearemoreandmorephychologicalproblemsthaneverbefore.generallyspeaking,thereareseveralcausesforthephychologicalproblems,butthefollowingmaybe

Question

英语作文,自学写的,可以麻烦指点一下嘛
in recent decades, it is noticed there are more and more phychological problems than ever before.
generally speaking,there are several causes for the phychological problems,but the following may be the main reasons.
first,college students are most likely to get the pressure from obtain employment.This often bring them phychological problems.Second,the competetion of sduty also bring the high pressure.ACademicians always get phychologecal prblems when they can not handle the pressure.Third,college men may also get phychological problems because thei's poor communicative ability.
some peopel,especially chinese,are shied.they won't go to the phychologists when they have a phychologicall problems.they don't awareness the serious of such desease
what should we do if wo have a phychological problems? i think the best way is to see the phycologist,they are skilled,so they can help us in the right way.our problems will be solved soon with the help of them.

Answer 1

自学写的很不错了.不过还是有一些硬伤,比如语法和拼写错误.第一,心理学是psychology.还有,This often bring them psychological problems,要注意this是三单,动词bring要加s.还有they don't awarness the serious应该是they are not aware of the seriousness.这些都是小问题,也许是你粗心犯的错误,更熟悉一下语法就可以.现在来讨论一下文章的结构,我不知道你的目标是想达到什么level,但是我是在国外读过高中,所以就用外国高中的作文水平来点评这篇文章.这篇文章看上去是说明文,用来解释现代社会心理问题的原因.如果是说明文,就要加入很多数据和科学证明,比如据统计,有百分之多少多少大学生有心理疾病.你的三个条理很清楚,可以在每个后面加入更详细的解释,比如根据心理学研究,就业的压力能从什么什么方面打击人的自信什么什么的,可以各分一段.最后一段就应该用来总结,就不要介绍新的知识了,尤其是说明文不要用个人opinion,就不要说I think什么什么了.如果你想表明个人观点,就应该选择议论文的文体.我个人比较熟悉议论文的格式,因为SAT要写的都是议论文.议论文首先要有一个thesis,也就是论点,接下来整篇文章都要围绕这个论点展开,来证明它.论点都必须有一个arguable的观点,比如说你的可以是,in my opinion, it's always the best solution for one with psychological issues to seek for professional help from a psychologist.然后你就要找论据来证明你的thesis,证明为什么应该找心理医生.你可以用名人事例,比如说美国明星Demi Lovato就是看心理医生治好了抑郁症,现在很成功之类的.也可以用反例.先摸明白文章的类型和思路,之后咱们再来看如何修饰句子,让它们看着更“漂亮”,比如高端词汇和句子结构.总之,这些就是我能给的最好建议,是按照国外作文的要求,不知道你写作文是为了考什么试,还是就是写着玩,反正按照这些方法可以提高自己的水平.加油!