求批改托福作文 It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for ...It is difficult to qualify whether to understand ideas and concepts or to learn facts is more significance than one another.In my perspective,a

Question

求批改托福作文 It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for ...
It is difficult to qualify whether to understand ideas and concepts or to learn facts is more significance than one another.In my perspective,a balanced absorbance of concepts and facts provide a most efficient methods and most objectively understanding.In other words,each of them precedes another,which is unable to stand out individually,on the purpose of enriching knowledge and acquiring truth for students.
Learning facts promotes the understanding of ideas and concepts in various ankles.Constantly,ideas and concepts are expressed in an abstract way,which is opposite to facts that are specific and comfortable to comprehend.In order to demonstrate an unfamiliar idea as a student,facts reveals its importance on the mode of thinking,which in most cases offers the advantages of visualized pieces for brain to link complex concepts to ubiquitous daily facts.Throughout the studying of European colonization to Africa,I referred the concrete facts such as Berlin Conference and King Leopold as instance to analyze the purposes and motives for colonialism,which I never authentically understood during the class.
Ideas and concepts are considered the surface of a real issue,which require us to deepen our philosophical and logical understanding of them by connecting to facts.Undeniably,facts are the application of vast of facts,which illustrate complicated theories if we take them into account,for example,the consciousness of human beings or the construct of the world.Independent ideas have no essential meanings,which request facts to practice them,not only on purpose of justifying,but also sublimating.
The ideas and concepts are as crucial as facts owing to the connection and relationship,which are two virtual elements for academic achieving,as well as life comprehending.There is no sense of one factor outweighs another in the process of studying for the sake of irreplaceable position.In contrast,we should automatically combine them to facilitates study.

Answer 1

太厉害了,一个单词错误都没有!文章结构紧凑,长句写的好,达到长短句分配也合理,句式表达多样,已经是高分作文了,非得要挑骨头的话,不一定对啊,仅供交流.
1、it is difficult to qualify whether to understand ideas and concepts or to learn facts is more significance than one another.
understand是普通词汇,可以在该语境中替换为appreciate.
more significance than one another 不地道；有了more ,再用 than one another累赘.
外语和我们自己文章一样,说到大半的时候大脑里面有判断,这个说的应该是啥.我们写全了那个叫强调,排比；老外却可能会进入思维混乱
2、In other words,each of them precedes another,which is unable to stand out individually,on the purpose of enriching knowledge and acquiring truth for students.
in other words在做“换言之”讲时,是普通词组,在该语境下可替换为put another way
acquire...truth 奇怪表达,替换表达有pick up/ get/ grasp/ gain/ attain；
3、Learning facts promotes the understanding of ideas and concepts in various ankles.
various ankles/concepts in various ankles 奇怪表达,中式英语
4、The ideas and concepts are as crucial as facts owing to the connection and relationship,which are two virtual elements for academic achieving,as well as life comprehending.
as crucial as facts 和virtual...element 表达都很中式化