希望英语高手能帮我改改这篇英语演讲比赛稿自我介绍的不足之处Goodmorning,everyone!I'msogladtobetheretodaytointroduceyoumyself.MynameisLiPengye,IcomefromNO.4seniorhighschool,gradthreeclassthree,Ialways

Question

希望英语高手能帮我改改这篇英语演讲比赛稿自我介绍的不足之处
Good morning,everyone!I'm so glad to be there today to introduce you myself.My name is LiPengye,Icome from NO.4 senior high school,grad three class three,
I always listening to the music wherever I am,as long as I can.And I adore a singer Jay Zhou ,because he is very like ofus nowadays,including me ,who always fight for our dreams.
Besides,when I have enough time,I prefer toride bicycle with my ream Enjoying the slow and comfortable process.
Last but not least,I stand here today ,the mostimportant thing is not to win the prize,but to make friends with you all andcommunicant with the wonderful thoughts that all of you.
I wish you can have a good impression on me.Thank you

Answer 1

　　It’s my honour to stand here facing you to introduce myself to you.My name is Li Pengye and I come from NO.4 Senior High School.I am now a student of Class 3,Grade Three.My classmates all have their own avocation,such as drawing,sporting,traveling and so on,while I am enamored with music.I always spent my spare time enjoying the music wherever I am.As long as I am able to afford to listen to the tune,I am often absorbed in it.My favourite singer is Jay Zhou,for he,who always fights for our dreams,is very immensely popular with us youth nowadays,including me.Besides,when I have enough time,I prefer to ride bicycle with my team enjoying the slow and comfortable process.
　　Last but not least,I stand here today,the most important thing is not to win the prize,but to make friends with you all and communicant with all of your wonderful thoughts.
　　I wish you could have a good impression on me.
　　That’s all.Thank you!
　　既然是讲演比赛,就需要有比较出彩的言辞,因此我把开头给你改为带有复杂结构的“很荣幸站在这里面对大家介绍我自己”.另外还增加了过渡到你的爱好的句子“我班同学都有各自的爱好…,而我却独爱音乐”帮你添加了一些.后面部分改为“我总是用我的业余时间欣赏音乐.只要我抽得出时间,我经常全神贯注与音乐之中”.此外,你会发现其他处也有变得稍微复杂一些的修改,不再一一列举了.