求专业人士指点文章……文章要求是uropinionsaboutgoingtomuseumswhentravelingtoanewcity托福作文要求……请专业人士斧正……Whenitcomestoatripofanewcity,itisawildspreadconcernthatmuseumcannotb

Question

求专业人士指点文章……
文章要求是 ur opinions about going to museums when traveling to a new city
托福作文要求……请专业人士斧正……
When it comes to a trip of a new city,it is a wild spread concern that museum can not be a place to forget.Undoubtedly,I can not agree more.My arguments for this statement are listed as follows.
The essential point is that all the travelers desire to get as many accesses as possible to quickly get into the new city.And,as we know,museums are just what they require.The kinds of museums vary from history to science,providing all sorts of articles and introductions which meet the various demands of the visitors.Therefore,going to a museum or more would be a good way to enrich one’s trip.
What is more,we should not be ignorant to the fact that,a lot of museums especially historical ones possess plenty of artistic items,such as great paintings and fabulous statues.In my opinions,those who love traveling usually have a mind of art,or ,in other word ,a pair of perceptive eyes to enjoy the beauty of life.Thus,the museum I recommend is just the place they should go for.And,parents can also bring their children there,to cultivate their appreciation of beauty ranging from nature to artifacts.
In addition,one would definitely acquire much more knowledge from the moment he or she entering the lobby of the museum.Recalling the history of the city,thinking about what is going on in the area,looking forward to what the exact place on which you step on will be like in the future,all these would wash up you mind,bring you a lot besides the pleasure of the trip itself.
From what I have mentioned above,I can draw a conclusion that the museums are really one of the places you can never omit when coming to a new city.

Answer 1

the fact that, a lot of museums especially 中间的逗号不要
In my opinions 改为 In my opinion,
in other word 改为in other words
looking forward to 前加个and
place on which you step on 去掉一个on
museums are really one不好,the museum is really one place that you ..