本人乃爱好英语菜鸟一个,胡编英文诗一首,若有语法错误还请各位改正；若无则请润色一下.感激不尽!（题目未考虑,烦请赐题）themostwonderfultimeisthefirstirecollectedtheolddaysatthesusetbuteve

Question

本人乃爱好英语菜鸟一个,胡编英文诗一首,若有语法错误还请各位改正；若无则请润色一下.感激不尽!
（题目未考虑,烦请赐题）
the most wonderful time is the first
i recollected the old days at the suset
but everything had been a memory that
never came back
while it seemed so ordinary at that moment
还请修改正文，
承蒙赐教，然鄙人更期待具体的修改建议

Answer 1

The old days in sunset
The most wonderful time I first recollected,
was the old days in sunset,
so peaceful and so sweet,
but everything was a past,
with a beautiful memory left,
that would never repeat,
when it seemed so ordinary at that moment!
英语虽无格律,但是也是讲究节奏的,以上小改仅供参考