雅思学术类大作文的结尾段的句子我写的一篇作文的结尾段是：Allinall,watchingTV,videoandplayingcomputergamesbringbothvirtuesandfeedbackstokids,parentsshouldregulatethetimeofwatchingTVandplayingcomputerso

Question

雅思学术类大作文的结尾段的句子
我写的一篇作文的结尾段是：
All in all,watching TV,video and playing computergames bring both virtues and feedbacks to kids,parents should regulate thetime of watching TV and playing computers of children,while supervise the TVprograms children watch.[j1]
但是外教对此的评价是：
[j1]Try not to make your sentences complicated – Use simple but directstatements.
Eg.
‘children should have regulated time when using gadgets,TV andcomputer games while the parents or guardians should supervise them and provideappropriate information whenever they are exposed to any media.
可是他为什么说我写的句子复杂啊?我觉得他给出的例子长度跟我的差不多,单词好像比我的还难点,为什么他说我写的句子复杂啊?

Answer 1

回顾全文+观点+展望：I agree that we need to make sure that animals that are used for testing new products have the minimum of suffering.However,I am convinced that animal testing is necessary,and that...