帮忙看下这篇文章(初一的)有没有错误,顺便提点建议MyBestFriendJennyistheoneofmyfriendsandsheismybestfriend.Sheisreallybeautiful.Shehaslonghair,bigblackeyesandabigredmouth.Sheisstrongbutthin.Jennyreal

Question

帮忙看下这篇文章(初一的)有没有错误,顺便提点建议
My Best Friend
Jenny is the one of my friends and she is my best friend.
She is really beautiful.She has long hair,big black eyes and a big red mouth.She is strong but thin.
Jenny really likes singing and drawing.She often listens some CDs with a video and draws some pictures.I think the pictures are all very nice.She also likes writing things a lot.So,she likes to do some writing exercise.
We are best friends.But we are not in the same school now.In winter vacation,she usually comes to my home and we do our homework.Sometimes,we play computer games in together.I’m happy to we can get together again.
偶乱写的拉~(因为水平实在有限)
开学要交作业的,错误多的话很难看的.
所以,

Answer 1

原问：My Best Friend
Jenny is one of my friends and then she is my best friend.
She is really beautiful.She has long hair,big black eyes and a big red mouth.She is tall but thin.
Jenny likes singing and drawing very much.She often listens some CDs on a rideo and draws some pictures.I think the pictures are all very nice.She also likes writing things.So,she often make some writing exercise.
We are good friends.But we are not in the same school now.In winter vacation,she usually comes to my home and we do our homework together.Sometimes,we play computer games.I'm happy that we can get together again.
建议：稍稍注意一下少用重复的,包括意义和用词.这样会更好.