求高手，SAT作文修改润色！~It’sconscienceamorepowerfulmotivatorthanmoney,fameorpower?Thedebateaboutmoralversuswealthandfameoccursoverthewholehumanhistory.Somepeoplearguesthatpeopleareprimarilydrivenbyselfi

Question

求高手，SAT作文修改润色！~
It’s conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame or power?
The debate about moral versus wealth and fame occurs over the whole human history. Some people argues that people are primarily driven by selfish motives, while others not. However, from a psychological perspective, these beliefs are as widespread as they are wrong, for people will display different behaviors when they are confronted with different social circumstances and pressures.
When we look to the slums all over the world, we invariably observe that people there are never stop from fighting until they died. And in most cases, what they are fighting for are but money and power, just as the Movie City of God depict. The reason why they are fighting for these is that they are in dire need of both a sensation of security and a regular supples of food. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the physiological need and safety need are the largest and most fundamental needs of human. When one is deprived of all needs, the physiological ones would come first in the person’s search for satisfaction. And physical needs are satisfied and no longer controlling thoughts and behaviors, the need for security can become active. Money and power can guarantee these people to survive, but conscience can not. It is derisive to expect one to be conscientious and not to rob other’s food when he is starving to death.
But when the needs for safety and for physiological well-being are satisfied, the next class of needs for love, affection and belonging can emerge. So the necessity of conscience begins to take precedence and dominate behavior. Born in a middle class family, Martin Luther King would never take part in the Black Civil Movement, if he faced the same situation as those gangsters: no enough food, no safe and warm shelter, even lose his life next moment.
Clearly, the examples of the middle classes and the gangsters illustrates that various environment engender different needs. In some cases, conscience takes the dominant places while others people place premium on money and power. As Bertrand Russell once said: “conscience is momentous in human society. But one would never think about it before he eat himself fill. (最后这句语法有问题，但不知道怎么改)

这种it depends的写法好难啊，求范文！好的加悬赏！
范文和修改的文章可以发到[e-mail] 收到多的我觉得好，我专门向你提问给财富！

Answer 1

Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame or power?（LZ，第1句就错了，应该是由Is开头，为什么用It's开头?你想表达的意思是“良心是比金钱，名誉和权利更强大的动力吗？”不是“It’s conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame or power?”）吧。
The debate about moral versus wealth and fame occurs over the whole human history. Some people argue（some people argue不argues复数） that people are primarily driven by selfish motives, while others not. However, from a psychological perspective, these beliefs are as widespread as they are wrong, for people who（怎么用will?应该是who吧）display different behaviors when confronted with different social circumstances and pressures.
When we look to the slums all over the world, we invariably observe people there not giving up and fight until they died. （病句，我按我的想法改了）And in most cases, what they are fighting for are（不需要加but，加了but 就变的奇怪了）money and power, just like(我想你的意思是就像just like不是just as吧) the Movie City of God depict. The reason why they are fighting for these is that they are in dire need for（应该是for（为了）） both a sensation of security and a regular supply（应该是supply（名词））of food. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the physiological need and safety need are the greatest （largest 一般指的是数量，在这里不合适）and most fundamental needs from（不是of） human. When one is deprived of all needs, the physiological ones would come first in the person’s search for satisfaction.（这句话不明白你在讲什么，望跟我解释，我从新编句） And physical needs are satisfied and no longer control （如果你要现在进行时controlling,前面需要有is,are,was,were这些词）thoughts and behaviors, the need for security can become more(加more表示更加的意思)active. Money and power can guarantee these people to survive, but conscience cannot(cannot 是1个词，连在一起的). It is almost impossible(不明白 LZ 为什么用 derisive（嘲笑）) to expect one to be conscientious and not to rob other’s food when he is starving to death.
But when the needs for safety and for physiological well-being are met（用met(meet的过去式)表示达到需要/目标）, the next class of needs for love, affection and belonging can be emerged(用can be +动词+过去式表示“可以被”). So the necessity of conscience begins to take precedence and dominate behavior. Born in a middle class family, Martin Luther King would never take part in the Black Civil Movement, if he faced the same situation as those gangsters.（no enough food, no safe and warm shelter, even lose his life next moment）（补充说明好象用括号）
Clearly, the examples of the middle classes and the gangsters illustrate（复数不加S）that various environment engender different needs. In some cases, conscience takes the dominant places while other people （others的意思是其他人, other的意思是其他，这里你可以选择直接用others或用other people）place premium on money and power. As Bertrand Russell once said: “Conscience(对话开头字母大写) is essential（momentous是形容词，这里不可以用） in human society. But one would never think about it before he let himself fill. (最后这句我也不太懂，但把eat改成let)
以上，谢谢