英语作文修改Thisarticlefocusesonsomeofthephilosophyoflife.Forexample:alife,bothmagicalandbeautiful,buthealwaysinadvertentlyfleeting,meaningwhenwearrived,theyarenot.Therefore,weshouldgraspthepresent,cherisheveryexist

Question

英语作文修改
This article focuses on some of the philosophy of life.For example:a life,both magical and beautiful,but he always inadvertently fleeting,meaning when we arrived,they are not.Therefore,we should grasp the present,cherish every existing thing,health,friends,lovers； and short life,should learn to create some spiritual wealth,rather than something on supplies；As ancient man said long ago :”A man comes to this world with his first clenched,but when he dies,his hand is open.”
However,the context of this article is not clear enough.Disorderly scattered thrust of the article.On the argument of the argument mostly truth proof,so accumulated.Easy to produce mental fatigue readers.
In my opinion,I think that the author should first explain their arguments,and one by one began to demonstrate,using reasoning and examples to demonstrate the truth,this is more clear and powerful.Then finally thematic summary and sublimation.

Answer 1

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However,the context of this article is not clear enough.Disorderly scattered chapters and sections are full of the entire article.The supporting sentences of the thesis statement are mostly .Therefore,the article is easy to produce mental fatigue to readers.
In my opinion,I think that the author should first explain their (作者应该首先解释他们的中的他们的指的是谁?) arguments and then began to demonstrate them one by one.It will be better if the author use reasons and examples to demonstrate the truth because it is more clear and powerful.Finally,thematic a summary and a sublimation are necessary.
PS:省略号的部分我是真的没看懂,不知道你可不可以解释一下,或者发个中文稿上来.很多部分都是我猜测你的意思来修改的,不知道是否符合原文意思.