请大家帮我改改我的英文日记,whattimeisitnow?itisourvacation.todaywasthefirstdayofthewintervacation.ithinkicandomanythingsthatiwanttoduringthistime.icanwatchthedvdofdesperatehousewives.ishouldmakefullu

Question

请大家帮我改改我的英文日记,
what time is it now?it is our vacation.today was the first day of the winter vacation.i think i can do many things that
i want to during this time.i can watch the dvd of desperate housewives.i should make full use of my vocation.not only palying but aslo studying.i will make a plan about my english studying.i will go out with my friends.i will go to see my grandmother and grandfather.there are many many'i will'in this vocation.

Answer 1

第三句没人这么说的,应该是I THINK I COULD DO MANY THINGS I WANT DURING THIS TIME.后面的CAN都该COULD,表示能够.“i should make full use of my vocation”应该改为“ i should make my vovation fully-used”,"not only playing but aslo studying"改“NOT ONLY PLAY BUT ALSO STUDY”." i will make a plan for my english study"改“i will make a plan for my english studing”."i will go out with my friends"改为“i will hang out with my friends”."i will go to see my grandmother and grandfather"中建议去掉TO,读起来挺怪的.结尾是完全的中式英语,建议改得平实一点,例如,I will have an unforgetable vocation!
我在美国上高中