大家好请帮忙点评一下BEC中级的作文谢谢了,partone!To:Allstafffrom:derekSubject:computersystemIhavejustbeeninformedthecomputersystemwillbedownonnextwednesday1o'clockPm,itwillbedownforatleast3hours,s

Question

大家好 请帮忙点评一下 BEC 中级的作文谢谢了, part one !
To: All staff
from: derek
Subject: computer system
I have just been informed the computer system will be down on next wednesday 1
o'clock Pm ,it will be down for at least 3 hours, so please make sure that all works are done before 1 pm, hope the computers will run faster than they used to be.
Thanks

Answer 1

格式正确,要点全面,建议您做一下完善：
1、inform引导的宾从添加引导词that
2、on next Wednesday和1 o'clock Pm之间添加at,即at 1pm
3、习惯表达：Wednesday首字母W大写；下午一点整直接1：00p.m.即可
4、句间关系有点混乱需要划分标点,句子中首字母大写
5、It will be与for时态矛盾,建议调整统一为一种时态.
6、make sure一句中时态改为将来完成比较符合.仅供参考,