雅思作文,请高手指导...1.Moreandmoremeasuresarebeingtakenbythegovernmenttoimprovethestagnanteconomyconditionsintheworld.Somepeoplebelievesuchapracticeissimplywasteofmoneyandenergy.Whatisyouropinion?Facedwi

Question

雅思作文,请高手指导...
1. More and more measures are being taken by the government to improve the stagnant economy conditions in the world. Some people believe such a practice is simply waste of money and energy. What is your opinion?
Faced with deterioration of finance crisis, the governments of America, British and European unions provide some measures to assist the world economy, such as providing money to the banks which are confronted with bankrupt and also cutting interest rates in order to restrain economic recession.
Some people believe this practice is simply waste of money and energy. They argue that no matter what government fix, they cannot offset the issue that economy fall into the abyss at the present. It is universally acknowledged that this situation, such as the soaring petrol price, is fatal and significant to our society. More badly some counties cannot afford the debt and becoming insolvent, it means not only citizen but government does not have the way to terminate or constrain the finance crisis. Therefore only provide these measures, cannot government conquer the issue we face with.
However, other people do not think so. They consider that this recession issue will be changed in few mouths because of the policy of the government. Although many people loss their job, cannot afford daily cost and the quantity of society demand is fall, government provide a lot of subsidies to rescue people who live in dangerous. Through this policy, our life becomes hopeful, peaceful and invigorative. Moreover, some counties get together, communicate with each other and decide some crucial ways to control the economy problems.
To sum up, In my own view, not only government but the citizen can do something which influence the economic problems, such as consider greater use of public transport, economize the source and change some behaviour to support the economy develop.
告诉我目前的水平,在帮我点评下我这个文章哪里不好..

Answer 1

我不知道我这雅思7分的人算不算高手,厚着脸皮接了这个问题……个人感觉这篇文章大概能得到5.5到6分,我整个给你改一下,你看一下就好. 你的文章中用了很多大词,像insolvent之类的,但是很多句式都用得不是很好.这样给人...