英语翻译无数次我试图让自己阳光点,但我失败了,我真的不喜欢那样的自己.无数次你们试图规劝我,也失败了...我开始抽烟,我开始酗酒,但...我真的并没有像你们想的那样坏.我从来都没有...你

Question

英语翻译
无数次我试图让自己阳光点,但我失败了,我真的不喜欢那样的自己.
无数次你们试图规劝我,也失败了...
我开始抽烟,我开始酗酒,但...我真的并没有像你们想的那样坏.
我从来都没有...
你们还是依然偶尔路过,然后在这里观望我的堕落,
这是我唯一一个可以发泄的地方了,我不希望它因为你们的不解而改变,
对不起了.

Answer 1

So many times I tried to make myself more optimistic, but I failed. I don't like the me like that.
So many times you tried to help me, but all the efforts failed as well.
I started smoking and drinking, but in fact I am not as bad as you think.
I never was.
Still, you would drop by occasionally and look at my misery and self-destruction.
This is the only place I can let my emotions out. I don't want it to change just because you won't understand it.
I'm sorry.