请大家帮我修改一下这篇英语作文,Wehavealotoflessons,suchasChinese,math,English,physics,chemistry,histeryandsoon.Wealsohavealotofschoolwork,butwethinktheywillimproveourstudying.Atabouthalfpastfour,webeginget

Question

请大家帮我修改一下这篇英语作文,
We have a lot of lessons,such as Chinese,math,English,physics,chemistry,histery and so on.We also have a lot of schoolwork,but we think they will improve our studying.
At about half past four,we begin get up.The first class of all day is starts at 5:20,At half past nine,we finish study.Then we go to bed at ten o'clock.
we have three meals a day,the food is just so-so.In our spare times,we often do some sport.
It's necessary for us to study hard.because of the dream,we always try our best to do everything.We believe,"Where there is a well,there is a way".

Answer 1

首先你这篇文章的高级词汇太少了
a lot of =可以用 a large amount of 很形象的描述很多,更重要的是词汇多
或者用 numerous 对不对.
such as＝同样的道理 ,例如也有很多高级词汇,for instance 这就是个比较好的高级词汇
But= 可以用 nonetheless 你看这个词看起来就很难,只要你记住,下次就可以大展身手了
或者用 whereas
第二 你的句式太单调了,废话多
不要总是we ,i的要多用复合句.比如第二句话讲作息时间的,可以这样写
The study time of whole day is from 5:20 to 21:30 and we got up at 4:50 and go to bed at 22:00.
注意前后数字要统一.
这是我的建议,加油阿.急需你采纳我.