求大神帮改英语作文~看有什么改进的地方求喷（25分的作文我只得了16分TT）网络上对于“驴友（backpackers）”是这样解释的：“驴友是对那些热爱户外运动自助自主旅行爱好者的称呼,因为

Question

求大神帮改英语作文~看有什么改进的地方求喷（25分的作文我只得了16分T_T）
网络上对于 “驴友（backpackers）”是这样解释的：“驴友是对那些热爱户外运动自助自主旅行爱好者的称呼,因为驴子能驼能背,吃苦耐劳,所以这也是旅游爱好者们自称或尊称对方的一个名词.”请根据以上信息作文,内容包括：用英语解释驴友；谈谈自己对驴友的看法；谈谈自己是否愿意成为一名驴友并简单说明原因.120词左右可适当增加细节使结构完整
我的作文：Recently,"backpacker" become popular with youth."bacckpackers" are a group of travelers who like outdoor activities and who are interested in traveling by themselves.As we know ,donkeies are hardworking because they can carry lots of things.Donkeies are similar to "backpackers" in a way,so those travelers usually call themselves "backpackers" and also use it to show respect to other travelers.(这段有点混乱==bbb) I think that it's nice to be a backpacker.It shows that you are an active person who likes nature and life if you are a backpacker."Backpackers" show a positive attitude to life.Traveling makes both your body and mental healthier.What's more,it will help you open up your eyes and make you wiser.It benefits us greatly.Accroading these good results of traveling,I'm glad to be a backpacker.

Answer 1

1、"bacckpackers" are a group of travelers who like outdoor activities and who are interested in traveling by themselves.
改为非限："bacckpackers",who are interested in traveling by themselves,are a group of travelers who like outdoor activities.(其实就是换一下位置)
2、help改为contribute to
3、I think that用as far as i am concerned
4、有并列的可以用not only ...but also...
5、What's more,it will help you open up your eyes and make you wiser.It benefits us greatly.
改为非谓语：What's more,benefiting us greatly,it will help you open up your eyes and make you wiser.
【高三学渣的一点建议】