哪位大神帮忙看一下这篇雅思作文能得多少分Somepeoplethinkahighsalaryisthemostimportantfactorinchoosingajob.Others,however,believethatjobsecurityismoreimportant.Discussboththeseviewsandgiveyourownopinion

Question

哪位大神帮忙看一下这篇雅思作文能得多少分
Some
people think a high salary is the most important factor in choosing a job. Others,
however , believe that job security is more important. Discuss both these views
and give your own opinion.
Nowadays
different individuals have different opinions for a job. Some individuals
think that a high pay is of significant in choosing a work, while others think
that job security is of significant. As for me,I am in the favour of the point
that job security is the most important.
In
modern society, some people think their safety is of most significant so they
always find a work in a company which can give them an insurance or don’t need
to do any dangerous work. For instance, some workers work as building a block.
They are always in danger because they need to climb too high to finish their
work and it threatens their lives. Thus, little and little people choose this kind
of job now. They always choose some jobs which can sit in the office. It is the
most safety way for them to protect themselves from danger. Individuals who
choose safe work are represented they are responsible persons because they
think about their family members fell.
However,
other people believe that a high pay is of most significant. After achieving a
high salary they can give their family a better home. And those who have
children can give their children a better schooling and let their children
become a perfect person.
Choosing
a high pay means they are seeking a better life .They clearly know what they
want and how to get that. And people can get high salary are always an able
person.
To
conclude, from what has been discussed above, I tend to believe that job
security is of most significant because the life is the most valuable for
people we would be well-advised to be responsible for ourselves in a best way.

Answer 1

5.5吧，我是学托福的，再拖福利能拿很好的分数，但是据我所知雅思的写作超难，改的还很严，没什么高级词汇，语法不是很难的，5.5或6吧应该