今天的雅思大作文，希望有经验的朋友能帮我看看可以考多少分。谢谢！另外想请问可以在哪请人帮看作文？题目：Aswellasmakingmoney,businessesshouldalsohavesocialresponsibilities.Doyouagreeordis

Question

今天的雅思大作文，希望有经验的朋友能帮我看看可以考多少分。谢谢！另外想请问可以在哪请人帮看作文？
题目：
As well as making money, businesses should also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?
正文：
Nowadays, more and more people call on that businesses should also undertake the social responsibilities .However, some people insist that businesses should focus on achieving more benefits .It has become a heated topic these days.
According to me , I support that businesses should have social responsibilities . With the development of economics, more and more people start to care about social responsibilities .For them , businessmen make so much money from the society, businessmen should also do something helpful for the society in return . Also ,during the development of businesses , the environment is being polluted and the resource is decreasing .It needs businessmen to make up the loss of the society .So businesses should allocate part of the cost to take the social responsibilities .
However , some people stand on the opposite view . They believe that the purpose of businesses is making the largest benefits . If they consider of social responsibilities ,they have to undertake the loss .Moreover ,they think businessmen pay enough taxes to the government .So the government should serve for businesses and protect the society. I completely disagree with this kind of opinion .It’s an excuse that businessmen shirk the responsibility to the government .
As far as I’m concerned ,all walks of life should take the social responsibilities .In order to have a better society ,not only the government should make efforts, but also every professional field should provide necessary aid .In all , I insist that businesses should undertake the social responsibilities .
请各位老师、学霸和考鸭们帮忙~~~

Answer 1

le start to care about social responsibilities .For them , businessmen make so much money from the society, businessmen should also do something helpful for the society in return . Also ,during the development of businesses , the environment is being polluted and the resource is decreasing .It needs businessmen to make up the loss of the society .So businesses should allocate part of the cost to take the social responsibilities .
However , some people stand on the opposite view . They believe that the purpose of businesses is making the largest benefits . If they consider of social responsibilities ,they have to undertake the loss .Moreover ,they think businessmen pay enough taxes to the government .So the government should serve for businesses and protect the society. I completely disagree with this kind of opinion .It’s an excuse that businessmen shirk the responsibility to the government .
As far as I’m concerned ,all walks of life should take the social responsibilities .In order