托福作文帮忙批改一下,主要是语法方面Itemsmadebyhandoritemsmadebymachine,whichdoyouprefer?Nowadays,asmachinesplayingamoreandmoreimportantpartinourwholesociety,andthequalityofmachine-madeproductsareaccepted

Question

托福作文帮忙批改一下,主要是语法方面
Items made by hand or items made by machine,which do you prefer?
Nowadays,as machines playing a more and more important part in our whole society,and the quality of machine-made products are accepted by most of us,items made by hand seemed have replaced by these made by machine; However there are still many people who hold a high value on handcrafted products.To decide which is best,one should compare the advantages of each method.
First of all,the advantages of making products with the aid of machines are obvious.For instance,factories that possess machines can improve their efficiency of work which can not be surpassed by human made.Another part worth mentioning is that we usually need some accurate operation especially for electrical equipment ,for machines are very steady and do the exact same thing every time they recreate a product,these type of products tend to have consistent quality.Machine-made products have the advantage of being able to use some finishes and materials that cannot be used when creating something by hand.There include some types of steel,laminates,and enamel finishes.
On the other hand,hand crafted products sometimes represent high quality which may possess not only a practical value but also the value of history and collection.And when people purchase handcrafted products,they are supporting the arts and crafts communities.Buying these types of products keeps many people employed,especially for those who are living in developing country.
From what we discussed above,we can clearly learn the advantages of machine-made products and hand-made products.I believe if we need to purchase some furniture or clothing,it is a better choice for us to choose the hand-made products,for these types of products tend to last much longer and they are unparalleled.However,if we need an electrical product or something economical,the machine-made product is better than the former one.

Answer 1

Items made by hand or items made by machine,which do you prefer?
Nowadays,as machines play（is playing,as引导从句） a more and more important part in our whole society,and the quality of machine-made products is（主语为 the quality） accepted by most of us,while (表对比,两句子之间应有连词)items made by hand seem to have been(被取代) replaced by these made by machine; However there are still many people who hold a high value on handcrafted products.To decide which is better（两者间的比较）,one should compare the advantages of each method.
First of all,the advantages of making products with the aid of machines are obvious.For instance,（factories that possess machines can improve their efficiency of work which can not be surpassed by human made）建议从新组织一下.Another part worth mentioning is that we usually need some accurate operation especially for electrical equipment ,for machines are very steady and do exactly the same thing every time they recreate a product.(楼主注意句子的隔断,不要老用逗号)These types of products tend to have consistent quality.Machine-made products have the advantage of being able to use some finishes and materials that cannot be used when creating something by hand.There（可以做主语吗?These） include some types of steel,laminates,and enamel finishes.
On the other hand,hand crafted products sometimes represent high quality which may possess not only a practical value but also the value of history and collection.And when people purchase handcrafted products,they are supporting the arts and crafts communities.Buying these types of products keeps many people employed,especially for those who live in developing countries.
As is discussed above（感觉更好）,we can clearly learn the advantages of machine-made products and hand-made products.I believe if we need to purchase some furniture or clothing,it is better (此表达更为流畅) for us to choose the hand-made products,for these types of products tend to last much longer and they are unparalleled.However,if we need an electrical product or something economical,the machine-made product is better than the former one.
注：本人只是初中水平,能力有限,尽请楼主见谅!