托福写作求高人鉴定打分Doyouagreeordisagreewiththefollowingstatement:Peopleshouldbuythingsmadeintheirowncountry,eventhoughthesethingsaremoreexpensivethanthingsthatmadeinsomewhereelse.Nowadays,themarketshare

Question

托福写作求高人鉴定打分
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: People should buy things made in their own country, even though these things are more expensive than things that made in somewhere else.
Nowadays, the market share of imported products is increasing rapidly in many countries across the world because of economic globalization. Consumers’ opinions differ when it comes to whether they should only buy goods made in their own country in spite of the cost or not. As far as I’m concerned, people should purchase things whose prices and quality is acceptable, no matter in which country they are made.
Initially, domestic products may be of poor quality while being more expensive than imported ones. For instance, computers manufactured in China often have worse performance than those developed in the U.S., and at the same time, they usually cost more. So in this case, people would choose American computers instead of Chinese ones.
Besides, one’s standard of living can be lowered if he or she always buys costly domestic commodities. In American families, a great number of daily commodities they use, such as clothes and toys, are produced in China. Americans depend on Chinese made things because similar U.S. made products are much more expensive and unaffordable.
Finally, the competition between domestic and international enterprises will be less fierce if people insist on choosing domestic goods even if they cost more than foreign ones. Such behaviors let domestic enterprises be monopolistic, making the environment of competition unfair for foreign enterprises. Also, since surviving in the market becomes easier, firms are likely to be lethargic and less competive, which is deadly for both the country’s economy and the firm itself.
In conclusion, people should consider quality of the product as the primary factor when they choose what to buy. In other words, we should buy things of good quality no matter where it’s produced.

Answer 1

优点就不多说了,看完你的作文基本上没有语法错误,但是我会给你一个fair
你的内容属于既不支持也不反对,这种中庸的写法字数很容易满但是很容易出现观点不明确以及跑题.这篇文章的题目是人们是否该坚持选购本国制造,你最后把题目已经扯到了“买哪个地方无所谓,质量才是根本”.别人让你说产地,你说的是质量,属于自己又引进了话题.表面上和题目是有联系的,但是是经不起考官推敲的跑题文.
因此我觉得你首先还是不要写这种中庸观点,因为你的水平还无法把握.
第二就是在举例方面你犯了一个很大的错误.这么说比较抽象.托福例子将就具体,有细节detail,你说的美国电脑质量好,这句就是不具体的例子.这也就是为什么托福高分作文的都以说理为主,因为题目怪异很难找例子.而且例子尽量别涉及国家间的比较,你这样抬高老美也不讨巧.说例子也可以,你比如说韩国人就爱买本国货,在经济受挫时更是只买本国产品,保护经济.这种例子加上点事实比如韩国车比日本车贵,但是韩国人还是主要买现代honda大宇等本国牌子.
你语言功底不错,平日还是多看看范文,常识多说理.个人观点姑且看之.有事pia我
来自团队：科技英语强手