请高手帮我看看这篇作文（高二）给我一些意见,谢谢你们了.（以下是我想表达的中文意思）亲爱的编辑：我想告诉你一些关于电视的影响.现在有许多电视节目充满暴力,孩子们常常盲目的

Question

请高手帮我看看这篇作文（高二）
给我一些意见,谢谢你们了.
（以下是我想表达的中文意思）
亲爱的编辑：
我想告诉你一些关于电视的影响.现在有许多电视节目充满暴力,孩子们常常盲目的模仿.至于现在的广告,我想提点意见.首先,不要把一些著名的的儿歌改成广告词.第二点,不要让孩子来做广告,这样不利于他们的成长.还有,一些孩子看了广告里的广告后,要求父母只买广告里的糖果和玩具.我认为,电视在现在社会中扮演着一个很重要的角色,所以我们应该想办法减小不好的一些的方面,只有这样,电视才能更好的为我们服务.
Dear editor,
I’d like to tell you something about the effects of the television.nowadays .There are many advertisements full of violence.And many children do the same as what they see on tv.as for most of advertisements today,I ‘d like to talk about my opinions.First of all,it’s not suitable to turn some famouse lullabies into the lyrics of advertisements.Secondly ,I don’t think it is a good idea to ask children to make advertisements.On the contrary,I think it won’t be beneficial to their growth.Futhermore,after watching some advertisements on tv,some children just ask parents to buy candies and toys for them.
In my opinion ,televisions play an increasing role in the modern society.Therefore,we should come up some ideas to reduce the diadvantages to people,so it will make our life better.

Answer 1

I ‘d like to talk about my opinions
最好写上from my opinions.因为你的句子过于冗长.