英语作文找茬有篇托福英语作文,刚写好,希望大家踊跃找茬,无论是语法,还是不规范,还是结构不好,什么都可以,越多越好,决不留情,严格要求!Topic:Youhavereceivedagiftofmoney.Themoneyisenoughtobuy

Question

英语作文找茬
有篇托福英语作文,刚写好,希望大家踊跃找茬,无论是语法,还是不规范,还是结构不好,什么都可以,越多越好,决不留情,严格要求!
Topic:You have received a gift of money.The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend.Which would you buy?Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
Response:
Different people have different ideals of value so it is sure that every one will have his own unique answer to this question.If I am lucky enough to have received such a sum of money,I will buy concert tickets for sure and I have quite convincing reasons to do that.
As it is mentioned in the question,I will be able to purchase several tickets instead of one single ticket so that I can bring my friend（s） there as well.Since both my friends and I like music,we can have a pleasant time together in the concert hall listening to the attractive melody.After that ,we will have a new common topic to talk about and that,undoubtedly,will strengthen our friendship.Besides developing friendship with old friends,I can also make some new friends who like music too.So as you can see,friendship is the first reason that I choose to buy tickets to a concert.
Secondly,going to a concert is a fabulous chance to improve myself.What I mean is,by listening to music,especially classic master pieces,I can learn the masters’ thoughts and feel the emotion and spirit inside the music.The master pieces of Beethoven,Chopin,and Mozart have a strong spiritual power and by listening to them,I can absorb the power and raise my own soul to a higher level.
As a matter of fact,the third major reason is,I don’t like jewelries.I admit that a gorgeous appearance is important in many cases,but it cannot overwhelm the mental power.And through my point of view,though jewelries can make a people attractive in appearance,it is the thoughts and feelings,which music can help improve,finally determine if an individual is attractive.
Possessing all the reasons above,I,a music lover,would certainly go to the ticket office if I got the gift

Answer 1

ideals - ideas
sure - for sure
his - his or her
am lucky - were lucky
will buy - would buy
do that - do so
will be able to - would be able to
can - could
both my friends and I like - my friends and I all like
can - could
in the concert - at the concert
melody - melodies
will - would
will - would
can - could
too - as well
is - would be
that I choose - for me to choose
emotion and spirit - emotions and spirits
as a matter of fact - the fact is
the mental power - one's mental power
can - could
a people - a person