请各位高手帮我看一下这篇四级作文写的怎么样的,有语法错的请帮助我改正,我整体布局不是很好,请别只改语法,我的写作思路一直被老师批评,布局也是,作文二：义务献血1、有些人支持义务

Question

请各位高手帮我看一下这篇四级作文写的怎么样的,
有语法错的请帮助我改正,我整体布局不是很好,请别只改语法,我的写作思路一直被老师批评,布局也是,
作文二：
义务献血
1、有些人支持义务献血
2、有些人对此持消极态度
3、我的看法
Donating Blood
Nowadays,more and more people would like to donate their blood.This action not only proves a citizen’s obligation but also offers a great kindness help to others.
We should donate our blood actively.Because donate blood have several advantages.Firstly,donate blood can benefit our health.Secondly,blood that you donated can help people in need.However,some people disagree with donating blood.They believe donating blood will have side effects.They afraid of infecting the AIDS virus and other immune system’s disease.
In my opinion,donating blood has more advantages than disadvantages.Not only prove a citizen’s moral.If only the medical treatment agency clean their equipment strictly,people who donates his blood won’t infected virus.

Answer 1

Because donate blood have several advantages---have应改为has.后面也有个要改.这是篇提纲式作文,其写作模板：
1． 对立观点式
A．有人认为X 是好事,赞成X, 为什么?
B． 有人认为X 是坏事, 反对X,为什么?
C．我的看法.
Some people are in favor of the idea of doing X. They point out the fact that 支持X 的第一个原因.They also argue that 支持X 的另一个原因.
However, other people stand on a different ground. They consider it harmful to do X. They firmly point out that 反对X 的第一个理由. An example can give the details of this argument: 一个例子.
There is some truth in both arguments. But I think ……
其实我以前写这种文章也是三段式,跟你一样,第一段：引语.第二段：简述两方观点及原因,第三段,自己的观点.也得高分了呀,亲的文笔还是挺好的,可能是你老师思路不一样,建议找他询问询问--上学吧为你回答.