请英语高手帮忙检查一下以下英文段落中的错误I’dliketolearneconomicsinboththeoreticalandpractical.Inmyopinion,onlytheeconomicscombiningthetheoryandreallifecanmakeacontributiontothehuman.Atthesametime,I

Question

请英语高手帮忙检查一下以下英文段落中的错误
I’d like to learn economics in both theoretical and practical.In my opinion,only the economics combining the theory and real life can make a contribution to the human.At the same time,I plan to learn more about the history of modern economics,so that I can draw lessons from failures of the past ones and destined for success.Furthermore,I want to be trained to improve my communicate skills and leadership,which may help me a lot in the future.The last but not the least,I have prepared to take a deep view of the culture of Korea,which attract me a lot from my childhood.You see,the world today is really like an earth country.It’s sure that even if we know each other well can we lead to a better cooperation.

Answer 1

老实讲,我认为整篇文章有很多问题,除了语法外,表达也过于中文化.
除了上面的意见,我还提几个建议：
“Furthermore”,“The last but not least","You see"这些所谓的连词其实用起来让整篇文章更加生硬.其实只要上下句子的意思呼应,很多连词都不需要硬加在句子前面.
逗号后面空一个格,句号后空两个格
第一句改成：“I would like to learn the theory of ecoomoics as well as its practice.”
“...communicate skills and leadership,which may help me a lot in the future.” 改成 ”...communication and leadership skills,which will be great assets for my future's success （或in my future)."
"I have prepared to take a deep view of the culture of Korea,which attract me a lot from my childhood." 改成 “I am well prepared to take an in-depth exploration of Korean culture,which have greatly attracted me ever since childhood."
"You see,the world today is really like an earth country.It’s sure that even if we know each other well can we lead to a better cooperation." 改成 "Apparently,the world is becoming a global country day by day,and therefore the appreciation and better understanding of each other's culture will help to creat a successful cooperation."