求托福改作文两篇希望能帮我改一下两篇作文,大概能得多少分,然后那些地方需要改进.第一篇是TPO-15的综合写作ViewsvarydrasticallybetweentheauthorandthelectureronhowtoerasethecanetoadsfromAustrali

Question

求托福改作文两篇
希望能帮我改一下两篇作文,大概能得多少分,然后那些地方需要改进.
第一篇是TPO-15的综合写作
Views vary drastically between the author and the lecturer on how to erase the cane toads from Australia which have caused severe ecological problems in the country.Each party has reasonable opinion and convincing evidence.
The author proposes the first method that we could build a national fence to block the advance of the toads.This approach is reliable for the reason that it has been use before and turned out to the positive results.In the contrast,the lecturer believes that this approach has a fatal disadvantage that it couldn’t erase the toads in the rivers and streams.The toads could still establish from one side to the other.
The author insists that toads could be captured and destroyed by volunteers.Young toads and cane toad eggs are especially easier to gather and destroy.Doubt is expressed by the lecturer on the other hand.Admittedly the method will get some success,but it could cause ecological disaster when the untrained volunteers have difficulty in distinguishing the toads and the native frogs especially the immature ones.
Opinion is cast by the author that a kind of disease-causing virus developed researchers could be an efficacious way to control the can toad populations.It will prevent the toads from maturing and reproducing without hurting other species.However,the lecturer strongly disapproves it due to risk of damage.The infected species which are transported to the South America could do harm to the native ones which are vital in that environment.There will be a big price to pay when the native species suffer this infection.
另一篇发不上来

Answer 1

哈哈,你写的很不错啊——用了很多高档句型和结构!
不过,里面还有个别失误.现修改如下：
Views vary drastically between the author and the lecturer on how to erase the cane toads from Australia which have caused severe ecological problems in the country.Each party has reasonable【opinion——opinions最好用复数 】and convincing evidence.
The author proposes the first method that we 【could——can】 build a national fence to block the advance of the toads.This approach is reliable for the reason that it has been【 use——used 】before and turned out to 【have】【the去掉】 positive results.In the contrast,the lecturer believes that this approach has a fatal disadvantage that it 【couldn’t——can't】 erase the toads in the rivers and streams.The toads 【could——can】 still 【establish——exist and prosper】 from one side to the other.
The author insists that toads 【could——can】 be captured and destroyed by volunteers.Young toads and cane toad eggs are especially easier to gather and destroy.Doubt is expressed by the lecturer on the other hand.Admittedly the method will get some success,but it 【could——can】 cause ecological disaster when the untrained volunteers have difficulty in distinguishing the toads and the native frogs especially the immature ones.
Opinion is cast by the author that a kind of disease-causing virus developed 【加 by 】researchers 【could——can】 be an efficacious way to control the 【can——cane】 toad populations.It will prevent the toads from maturing and reproducing without hurting other species.However,the lecturer strongly disapproves it due to 【加 the】risk of damage.The infected species which are transported to the South America 【could——can】 do harm to the native ones which are vital in that environment.There will be a big price to pay 【when——if 避免与上面重复 】the native species suffer this infection.
说明：按照时态和语义表达,文中的could 最好改为can.不过,有个别的不该可以.例如最后一个不改也能讲通.
按照30分计算的话,你写的可以得到23——26分.