BEC中级的作文我写的怎么样,DearAll,ThereasonwhyiwhritethisletteristhatIhavejustbeeninformedthatourcompany'scomputersystemwillbecloseddown,at5PMwednesday,tomakeanimprovement.andbecausewewillloseallthef

Question

BEC 中级 的作文 我写的怎么样,
Dear All,
The reason why i whrite this letter is that I have just been informed that our company's computer system will be closed down,at 5 PM wednesday,to make an improvement .and because we will lose all the files in disk C after the improvement,we have to move all the files that is usefull to other disk.
After the improvement will could get a faster speed when using the internet,then we will work more effciently.
Best regards
Derek

Answer 1

第一句的话有点累赘了哦
可以用这样一个句式I write to inform you that ~句式更加简洁CONCISE
~will be closed down to make an improvement at 5PM wednesday.我觉得要中间来个时间的插入语,这样比较好吧.
we have to move useful files to other disks因为all the disks that is useful 过于繁琐没有必要
你的商业只是可能需要进一步积累,因为没见你的letter的原题,不好做别的探讨,但是中级要求letter120~140字内 你的字数不够
望取得好成绩