哪位高人能帮我修改下我的英文简历啊,小弟英文不太好,做的简历很粗糙,感觉会有很多错误或者不适合的地方,哪位大哥大姐能帮我稍微修改一下啊?万分感激!XXX(Allen)138XXXXXXXXJOBOBJECTIVESalesR

Question

哪位高人能帮我修改下我的英文简历啊,
小弟英文不太好,做的简历很粗糙,感觉会有很多错误或者不适合的地方,哪位大哥大姐能帮我稍微修改一下啊?万分感激!
XXX(Allen)
138XXXXXXXX
JOB OBJECTIVE Sales Representative
WORK EXPERIENCE
2006.7-2008.1 XXX(Zhngshan)Co.,Ltd Sales Representative
Develop potential distributors and points of sale,responsible for daily sales management in 29 department stores,including:
1.Product research,advertisement,display arrangement and managing products catelogue and stock.
2.Responsible for recruiting shopping guide,and their disciplining,work mentoring and performance assessment.
3.Responsible for monitoring orders from stores,planning and arranging promotion campaigns.
Developed 1 potential distributors and 29 points of sales,increase revenues by 15% in 1 years ,ranked 5th in whole supermarkets
Obtained the capacity of working with others and the researching and Solving the problem
2005.7-2005.9 XXX Telecommunications Equipment Co.,Ltd salesman
Built relationship with customers with opportunities
Got the patient heart to others
Enhanced the ability of communicating with others and expression skills.
2005.7—2005.9 XXX Industry and Trade Co.,Ltd nanchang branch
Draft the marketing strategy with marketing director ,execute the plan successfully and boost sales by 20%
Acquired the whole operation process of the marketing
Gained the knowledge of marketing,acquired the whole operation process of the marketing
2003.9—2004.6 china tietong telecommunications corporation,jiangxi branch
Analyzed the customer’s business requirement.
Developing campus market and enlarging members
Enhanced my team work skills greatly
2002.10-2004.6“chengcai”Tutor intermediary Founder and chief director
Active organization,contact tutoring,has been doing part-time tutor and tutor for students on part-time work,
Attained the ability as a leader and supervisor ,and stimulated all the team members to worker together
Cultivated a strong sense of responsibility.Organization,coordination,communication skills are greatly improved

Answer 1

You really did a good job about this self introduction.
But I think you'd better add something about your individuality.And your ambition or gole in the future.Not just the work experience in the past.You must show something diffrent and better than others.Such as your creativity and sense of duty.You can also point out the way in the future with your help.