哪位好哥哥或好姐姐帮我看看我的作业,Iamusedtotravellingbyair.LastWednesday,IflewtoEuropefromChina.Theplanetookoffontime.Apassengerwhohasneverbeenbyairbeforethrewalightedcigaretteintoanairvent.Becauseh

Question

哪位好哥哥或好姐姐帮我看看我的作业,
I am used to travelling by air.Last Wednesday,I flew to Europe from China.The plane took off on time.A passenger who has never been by air before threw a lighted cigarette into an air vent.Because he thought it was an ash tray.Almost immediately smoke rose up and covered the plane.A flight attendant told us that somewhere fired on.Everybody on board was panicked and we were curious to find out how the fire was put out,when the plane suddenly turned round and returned to the airport.In the meantime,fire engines and ambulances hurried to come here in time.After the plane had landed,we all went out of it.Fortunately,no one was hurt.After some times,the fire was put out and the plane took off again.
这是根据课文提供的一些单词,按照自己的思路写的一篇小作文,帮我看一下短文中有没有句型错误,或者时态不对的地方,

Answer 1

Because he thought it was an ash tray.改成 “,thinking it was an ash tray."
Almost immediately后面要逗号
Everybody on board was panicked and we were curious to find out how the fire was put out,when the plane suddenly turned round and returned to the airport.find out也不该这么用,curious也用得不好,用anxious比较好,这句话好好改改.
hurried to come here in time,也不是很好,换种说法
after some times 改成 after a while
总体来说,问题不算特别特别多.但是有很多地方值得改进,例如,行文过于流水,句与句之间缺乏衔接词,句势过于单一等.相信你还在上中学,加油吧.