帮我看看这篇文章有什么地方错误了吗,是一篇essay,连接不能用but,所以不要改成butStudyisanimportantthingforpeople’slife.Everyonewantstogetagoodchoosefortheirfuture.Therefore,peoplechoosedifferentwaysto

Question

帮我看看这篇文章有什么地方错误了吗,是一篇essay,连接不能用but,所以不要改成but
Study is an important thing for people’s life.Everyone wants to get a good choose for their future.Therefore,people choose different ways to learn some knowledge.Some people want to go abroad for university study.However people go abroad has some negative influences.For instance,people will have some bad changes in timings、personnel safety and growth process.
First of all,people have to change their timings.That is to say,they will lose a lot of free time.Because they have to spend a lot of time to pay attention to how to live in other country.Thus,they do not have full time to study.Because of this,they do not have enough time to make new friends.They cannot communicate with foreigner.Finally,people have to go home.Secondly,people will be in danger sometimes.These persons do not know foreign laws and cannot protect themselves.Therefore,they will do something violate the law.Different countries have different cultures,and they do not know what taboo they cannot do.As a result,people do not know where danger is.
Furthermore,people will learn some bad culture if they do not have enough resistibility.They might take part in some violent behavior,and then they will lose themselves.On account of the reason,people go abroad for study need stamina,in contrast,almost people do not have.Due to the students were too young.
To sum up with the theme,we will meet with many difficulties and troubles if we go abroad for study.Going abroad is a way for study,however,the choice not the best.

Answer 1

Study is an important thing for people’s life.Everyone wants to get a good choice for their future.Therefore,people choose different ways to learn some knowledge.Some people want to go abroad for university study.However,people who want to go abroad have some negative influences.For instance,people will have some bad changes in timings、personnel safety and growth process.
First of all,people have to change their timings.That is to say,they will lose a lot of free time.Because they have to spend a lot of time to pay attention to how to live in other country.Thus,they do not have full time to study.Because of this,they do not have enough time to make new friends.They cannot communicate with foreigners.Firstly,people have to go home.Secondly,people will be in danger sometimes.These persons do not know foreign laws and cannot protect themselves.Therefore,they will do something to violate the laws.Different countries have different cultures,and they do not know what taboo they cannot do.As a result,people do not know where danger is.
Furthermore,people will learn some bad culture if they do not have enough resistibility.They might take part in some violent behavior,and then they will lose themselves.On account of the reason,people go abroad for study need stamina,in contrast,almost people do not have.Due to the students were too young.
To sum up with the theme,we will meet with many difficulties and troubles if we go abroad for study.Going abroad is a way for study,however,the choice not the best.