请帮忙找出英语作文的错误很感谢!小女子感激涕零!请帮忙找出错误.要详细说说错在哪里和修改哦,找出最多错误而正确的.Afewweeksagoanewspaperquizedsomeyounggirlsinschool."Doyouthinkyouarefat

Question

请帮忙找出英语作文的错误 很感谢!小女子感激涕零!
请帮忙找出错误.要详细说说错在哪里和修改哦,找出最多错误而正确的.
A few weeks ago a newspaper quized some young girls in school."Do you think you are fat?" More than a half girls gave the positive answer even if most of them looked very normally.
Lily is a senior student who looks a little fat but very healthy.She was dubbed "small pig" by her classmates who thought that it is a kindly nickname.But Lily doesn't think so.She has been fed up with it a long time and treated the nickname as an irony for that implies she is as fat as a pig! So she got under way to lose weight to get rid of the harassment.
At first she knew that there is a kind of surgery can help her get thin,which is very costly and has a lot of down sides.It is inadvisable for her,she thought. After that,she found an advert from the newspaper that there is a kind of drug as the auxiliary therapy can helps people lose weight quickly.
Alike finding the silver bullet, she rush to the shopping mall to buy it.After running out this tablets,she has lost 10 kilogrammes successfully and possessed a satisfiable stature and gave all her classmates a startling alteration.
But she also felt bleak frequently.The doctor told to her that this drug is taboo in medically and it can lead up to chronic angina when she is elderly. If she continues to eat it, it may cause deadly results.Though she is thin now , it's unenviable for her.Lily get no beneficial from her beauty but despaired for losing weight.
Good flavours still attracts her like a megnet.She now understands that losing weight must count on exercising and we should watch out for wonder-drug hype during daily life.
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Answer 1

a half 改为half
She was dubbed "small pig" by her classmates who thought that it is a kindly nickname.改为现在时态is,think,kindly改为kind
At first she knew that there is a kind of surgery can help her get thin.can前面加that,定语从句
there is a kind of drug as the auxiliary therapy can helps people lose weight quickly.同上,can前面加that,定语从句
she rush to the shopping mall to buy it.过去时态,rushed
The doctor told to her 把to去掉
Lily get no beneficial from her beauty 第三人称单数,动词改为gets
Good flavours still attracts her like a megnet这里用复数,attract