自己写的英文作文,求改错（感激不尽~）是雅思的一篇图表小作文（线形图）,因为跨越了三个时态,所以对时态上不是很有自信了.下面是文：Thelinegraphillustratesthepercentageofthepopulationaged

Question

自己写的英文作文,求改错（感激不尽~）
是雅思的一篇图表小作文（线形图）,因为跨越了三个时态,所以对时态上不是很有自信了.下面是文：
The line graph illustrates the percentage of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries——Japan ,Sweden and the USA .
As we can see ,at first glance clearly ,the percentage of elder people (aged 65 and over ) was stand at 9% .Then ,the figure showed and upward trend in the next 42 years and reached the high point at 15% in the year of 1982 .After that ,it hovered at 14% for a long time till it is going to rise dramatically in 2020 and peaking at just under 25% in 2040 .
Similarly ,the proportion of people aged 65 and over in Sweden fluctuates and always in a sharp growth .More specifically ,the figure was only 7% in 1940 and overtook America in around 1995 ,finally it is arriving at just over 25% in 2040 .
Meanwhile ,the situation in Japan is amazing at first .While the figure was increased steeply in America and Sweden ,the number in Japan was marginal decreased form roughly 5% in 1940 to approximately 3% in 1982 .But from this point onwards ,it shot up and will surpass the others in 2030 and finally reading the highest point at 27% in 2040 .
Overall ,it is can be objected that in the year of 2040 ,the percentage of people aged 65 and over will exceed 20% in all of these countries .
发现少打了一点，就是第二段的第一句，括号后应该有一个" in America"

Answer 1

个人认为数据应该有所筛选,楼主写得有点多,考试时要把握好时间.The line graph illustrates the percentage of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries——Japan , Sw...