帮评一下雅思作文~看看能不能上6分啦？Somepeoplethinkthefoodhasbeenchangedandimprovedbytechnologicalandscientificadvances,butothersworrythatitisharmfultoeatthiskindoffood.Describebothsidesandgiveyouro

Question

帮评一下雅思作文~看看能不能上6分啦？ Some people think the food has been changed and improved by technological and scientific advances ,but others worry that it is harmful to eat this kind of food .Describe both sides and give your opinion. At present ,the widely use of new technology and science ,which leads to a significant reform of producing ,has aroused many people’s awareness. There is still no absolute agreement on the question whether to change or improve the food by manufacturing them in new advances. From my own perspective . I am convinced that those kind of food could provide people with potential bad impacts. On one hand , people who hold the contention that improvement of technology would help to produce the food more efficiently and bring more profits. Firstly ,the new advances make a contribution to decline the growth time of plants. That is to say ,food can be produced faster than before . Secondly, it is beneficial to company to get more profits form the new products . The more nutrient ingredient they are added, the higher price they get. On the other hand ,those who prefer to support on producing food in traditional way have more forceful reasons .To begin with , the improved food pose a great threat to our health . for instance , some of them are put in additions , others have change on the structure of their DNA .Even the scientist fail to promise whether the changes are positive or negative . Moreover consumers who are not rich may be put pressure on . compared with the traditional food ,new food , which is claimed to be innocent can be as 2 times more expensive as the traditional one . Form what has been discussed above , I would like to express that . I prefer the traditional and healthy. Producing style rather that the evolutive style . it is important to people to eat in a healthy habit by choosing the food which are confirmed to be healthy.

Answer 1

虽然是犯了一点语法上的错误，但是我觉得还不错的，应该可以拿那6分！