哪位好心的大虾帮我改改英语作文,明天要教的~WhereismyjobToday,moreschoolleaversareunabletofindjobs.whatcauseoftheraisingunemployment.Andhowtosolvethisproblem.Thepopulationisalwaysraising.moreandmorepeople

Question

哪位好心的大虾帮我改改英语作文,明天要教的~
Where is my job
Today,more school leavers are unable to find jobs.what cause of the raising unemployment.And how to solve this problem.
The population is always raising.more and more people comes to this world.they grow up to a adult from a baby.when they graduate from their school.they need to live by themselves.so they need a job.but now the resource of this world is limit.there are not enough jobs to supply for so much people.consequently,the fact is a job usually competed by many people.only the best one can get a job.the others just can stay in home,and continue to depend on their parents to live.it is a brutal fact.
I think many people’s thought is traditional.most of people,who graduate from university,want to find a job in office.Because people always think a good job is work in office.they don’t want trying to do the others kind of job.so I think there are too much people in traditional trade and it doesn’t need so many people.in the other hand,In some new sunrise industry,just few people join in and they need lots of professional people.It is unbalance to this social.
How to solve these problem?I think the first is to control the population.the government need to encourage people to have less children.and give some rewards for these families.moreover,adopt some policy to limit or punish these families which have many children.secondly,encourage people join the new sunrise industry.government need to give some job train for people who want to join the new industry.Set up some new subjects in university for these new industry,and encourage students to choose these subjects.I think government need to do some things to change people’s traditional thought.

Answer 1

Today,more school leavers are unable to find jobs.What cause(s) of (of 去掉) the raising unemployment?And how to (to改成do you或do people) solve this problem?
The population is always raising（rising）.More and more people comes to this world.(这句话我不明白 你可以说The population density is increasing in every country).They grow up to a adult from a baby(这句话我不明白 不好改 去掉好不好?).When they graduate from their school,they need to live by (live by改成rely on) themselves.So（so改成therefore,so不能在句子前面） they need a job,but now（now去掉）the resource of this（this改成the） world is limit(limited).There are not enough jobs (加上opportunities) to supply for so much(so much改成all these) people.Consequently,the fact is (加上that)a job usually competed by many people(a job usually competed by many people我觉得应该说 there are strong competitions for job opportunities).Only the best one can get a(改成the) job.The others just can stay in home,and continue to depend on their parents to live(这句话应该是The others just have to depend on their parents to survive吧.).It is a brutal fact.
I think many people’s thought (thought 应该说 way of thinking) is traditional(traditionalized).Most of （加上the）people,who graduate from university,want（加s） to find a job in （加上an）office,because people always think a good job is (to) work in (an) office.They don’t want trying to do the others kind of job (这句话可以说They are not satisfied with jobs that require to much energy).So I think there are too much(much应该是many) people in traditional trade and it doesn’t need so many people（这句话的意思我不太明白 我觉得应该是so I think there are too many people’s not as open-minded as they should be）.in the other hand(应该是on the other hand),In some new sunrise(如果是说新公司的话 应该把sunrise去掉) industry,just few people join in and they need lots of professional people（just a few people join in and they need lots of professional people我觉得应该是they require lots of professional people but not as many people apply for the jobs）.It is unbalance to this social.( 再用一次therefore,it is an unbalanced society)
How to solve these problem(s)?I think the first(加上thing to do) is to control the population.The government need(s) to encourage people to have less children,and give some rewards for（for应该是to） these （these 应该是those）families.Moreover,adopt(adopt 不能用在这里,可以用publish) some policy(y变成ies) to limit or punish these(是those) families which have many children(which have many children 改成who has more children).Secondly,(加上the government should)encourage people (加上to)join the new sunrise（sunrise去掉） industry(y改成ies).Government need(s) to give(give变成provide) some job train(ing) for people who want(s) to join the(the去掉) new industry（y改ies）.(加上some suggestions may be to)set up some new subjects in university to train people in order for them to adapt to working in small companies,and encourage students to choose these subjects.I think
(the)government need to do some things(some things是一个词something) to change people’s traditional thought(外国都不用traditional thought 可以改成way of thinking).
有的句子还是不太顺 但是不知道怎么改了
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