GRE作文求批改,不求精批,求狠批.恭候大家的建议ISSUE130-"Howchildrenaresocializedtodaydeterminesthedestinyofsociety.Unfortunately,wehavenotyetlearnedhowtoraisechildrenwhocanhelpbringaboutabettersociety."Ifi

Question

GRE作文求批改,不求精批,求狠批.恭候大家的建议
ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society.Unfortunately,we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
I find the speaker's dual claim to be plausible in these aspect.He think that society's destiny bases on how children are socialized.While the importance of children in some aspects,is one of the component parts of our society.And the problem that we do not know how children better our society is poorly supported by the true experience.
Admittedly,with the relationship of society and time,I agree with the obvious significance of children.We all grow up from children to be young,adults,and old people.We get many experience in this process which even have more major effect than other process in our life.However,childhood is only one parts of our life,on the most time of life,we are not children.The childhood is foundation of our life,but the most important thing is developing ourselves to promote social progress.
At first,the speaker claim that children's socialization determine the destiny of society.I strongly disagree this absolute conclusion with the following reasons.On the one hand,our society is not consist of only children,just like the above statement.On the other hand,socialization is not the only important thing for us.For example,John Nash,one of the most famous mathematician and economist,does not have highly socialization,even he cannot normally communication with others.But this short not stop him from invaluably contribute to the world.Base on the many story of celebrities,we know that the socialization is not the only thing to make our society better.We need other personal and social quality like courage,coordination,persistence and so on.Moreover,people’s character are almost shaped rationally in the young and adult stages.
Considering the speaker’s other claim that we do not know raise children.Is it true?I absolutely disagree that.Everyone consider that their children are most important part of their life,and they will do their best to care about children and make well environment for them.Even though the extremely few people do not know and even have wrong way to raise their children.With good teacher and other well environment for them,I believe the most children will have favorable treatment.
In sum,children is one part of our society,but It is not right to say the children is everything.When we grow up we are not children,and we also have more important impact for our society.Furthermore,all of us think children is our society’s hope,how can the speaker say people do not learn how to teach children.According to a wrong premise,the speaker come to a wrong conclusion.

Answer 1

I find the speaker's dual claim to be plausible in these aspectS.He thinkS that society's destiny IS baseD on how children are socialized,while the importance of children,in some aspects,is one of the...