请帮我看看我写的是否有什么问题呢：）我的这封邮件有点儿长,DearXX,Ihopeeverythingisfinewithyou.听闻学校（Central）今年新增了MFA的课程,这真是个令人兴奋的消息.(IhearthatthisyearCentralhas

Question

请帮我看看我写的是否有什么问题呢：）
我的这封邮件有点儿长,
Dear XX,
I hope everything is fine with you.
听闻学校（Central）今年新增了MFA的课程,这真是个令人兴奋的消息.
( I hear that this year Central has approved a two-year MFA route for the Scenography course,this news is really exciting.)
我很渴望可以加入MFA的课程学习.
( I long for attending the MFA programme.)
我很希望可以用更多的时间跟您和我未来的同学们进行更加深入的学习,同时我也很希望可以和大家分享我自己的知识,特别是一些对中国传统文化的理解.
(I hope that i can spend more time to study deeply with you and my future classmates,and also hope that i can share my understandings and feelings with you,especially about Chinese traditional culture.)
今年秋天,我分别去了敦煌,西安和中国南方的一些城市采风,收获了一些关于敦煌壁画,雕塑和中国古典园林的新鲜的感受,也很期待可以把这些感受和大家分享,也非常期待听到您对我这些感受的评价和建议.
( This autumn,i went to Dunhuang,Xi’an,and some cities in southern China,and gain some fresh feelings and inspirations from Dunhuang frescoes,sculptures and Chinese classical gardens.I am looking forward to sharing these with you and my future classmates,meanwhile,I am looking forward for your comments and advices about my feelings.
明年春天,我会去日本采风,特别是去京都,因为京都拥有保存最为完整和最丰富的中国唐代风格的建筑.我认为这些建筑会为我带来新的灵感对我的设计和对东方文化产生新的理解.很希望可以有机会把这些理解同您交流.
(Next spring,i will go to Japan to visit some Japanese architecture,especially to go to Kyoto,because Kyoto has extensive Chinese Tang Dynasty style architecture which has received the best preserved.I believe that such buildings will inspire me for my design and for generating new understandings.Therefore i am eager to share these will you and to ask comments and views from you.
我需要一些时间来适应语言环境,两年时间的学习可以在更大程度上消除我的语言的问题,使我可以更充分的和老师同学们交流.所以我非常渴望得到这次加入MFA课程的机会.我现在仍然在努力的学习英语,只有在写作方面还没有达到标准.我book了明年1月份和3月份两场的雅思考试,希望可以取得满意的成绩.我一拿到我的雅思成绩,就会发送给你.
Studying in London,I also need some time to adapt language environment,to a large extent ,i believe that a two-year programme will help me to overcome some obstacles on my language so that i can gain a better understanding of what i will study.So i really want to join MFA programme.And now i am sill work hard on my english study,but i am still have some problem on my WRITING part.I have booked two IELTS exams on January and March respectively,hoping to achieve satisfactory results.Once i got my IELTS score,i will sent it to you as soon as possible.
再一次的,非常希望能和你学习MFA的课程,希望能得到这次宝贵的机会.
Again,I long for to get this valuable opportunity to study MFA programme with you.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon and best wishes.
Joannna

Answer 1

我修改了一点点基本错误,按照你的原文.Dear XX, I hope everything is fine with you. I heard that this year Central has approved a two-year MFA route for the Scenography course. This news is really exciti...