召唤英语老师,修改八级练习作文主要对用词,语法特别后面几段,觉得很多用词不当不过不知道怎么改了在这里摆脱各位英语达人了Sparetherodandspoilthechild?Manyparentshaveaveryimportanteducatio

Question

召唤英语老师,修改八级练习作文
主要对用词,语法 特别后面几段,觉得很多用词不当 不过不知道怎么改了
在这里摆脱各位英语达人了
Spare the rod and spoil the child?
Many parents have a very important educational concept – “spare the rod and spoil the child” which implies that child have to be physically punished in order to develop.And now,this proverb is attracting more and more public attention.As a consequence,both arguments and counter-arguments concerning its benefits have emerged as time goes by.Opponents to this position argue that physical punishment is a good way to teach children when they misbehave.Because hitting has an immediate effect on children,parents think that spanking them is the best tool to control inappropriate behaviors.Yet,I’d like focus my mind on its counteraction on social progress.
First of all,physical punishment teaches children to be afraid and hide what they are doing from parents.Furthermore,some parents spank their children to teach discipline; however,spanking does not teach self-control.Usually those children who are physically punished tend not to develop a mature and open attitude because they are constantly inhibited by their parents' violence.As a result,child would be a shy guy who does not participate in class or social activities because he feels afraid of making mistakes when expressing his thoughts.
Secondly,children would like tend to lie to others after long term physical punishment.It was the nature of human beings that escape from the unexpected pain.And lying is may be the most suitable method for an imaginative child to avoid spanking.As time goes by,child would become false.
Thirdly,the experience of physical punishment would teach children how to solve the problem with violent.All we know,children like to copy the movement by they parents.Especially spanking,for children,it may be the most impressive and effective way.
Compared with the child who often suffered physical punishment,the child who gets more hug and kiss will be more clams when he grows up.There is an experiment prove that,spanking will give children great pressure.What’s more,pressure will bring to children a lot of disease,both in physical and psychological.If parents always say “I love you”,“You are the best” to their children,children will grow up with confidence.It is no doubt that children have to suffer a great pressure when he grows up.However,a wonderful childhood could teach him how to deal with pressure and how to avoid the disease related pressure.
不要没改,或者乱改就想来骗分
我会仔细看的
如果是优秀的回答我会加分的

Answer 1

Spare the rod and spoil the child?
Many parents have a very important educational concept – “spare the rod and spoil the child” which implies that children have to be physically punished in order to develop. And now, this proverb is attracting more and more public attention. As a consequence, both arguments and counter-arguments concerning its benefits have emerged as time goes on. Opponents to this position argue that physical punishment is a good way to teach when they misbehave. Because hitting has an immediate effect on child, parents think that spanking them is the best way to control inappropriate behaviors. Yet, I’d like to put my mind to its counteraction on social progress.
First of all, physical punishment could let the children to be scared and escape what their parents told them. Furthermore, some parents hit their children to teach discipline; however, spanking does not teach self-control. Usually those children who are physically punished are not tend to have a mature and opening attitude because they are constantly inhibited by their parents' teaching. As a result,the children would be shy and they wouldn't not participate in class or social activities because they afraid of making mistakes when expressing his thoughts.
Secondly, the children will tend to lie after a long term physical punishment. It was the nature of the human beings that escape from the unexpected pain. And lying could be the most suitable way for an imaginative child to avoid spanking. As time goes by,the child would become false.
Thirdly, the experience of physical punishment would teach children how to solve the problem with violence.As all we knew, children like to copy the movement by they parents. Especially spanking, for the children, it may be the most impressive and effective way.
Compared with the child who often suffered physical punishment, the children who get more hugs and kisses will be calm when they grow up. There is an experiment could prove that, spanking will give children great pressure. What’s more, pressure will bring then a lot of illnessess, not only in physical but also in psychological. If the parents always tell their children that they love their son or daughter.the children will be confidence. It is no doubt that the children have to suffer a great pressure when they grow up. However, a wonderful childhood could teach him how to deal with pressure and how to avoid the illness related pressure.