请哪位老师或是英语好的朋友帮忙改下英语作文（考研英语二的）,Thetableaboveclearlyrefectsthestatisticofmobilephonesubscriptionindevelopinganddevelopedcountiesfrom2000to2008.Accordingtothediagram,in2000

Question

请哪位老师或是英语好的朋友帮忙改下英语作文（考研英语二的）,
The table above clearly refects the statistic of mobile phone subscription in developing and developed counties from 2000 to 2008.According to the diagram,in 2000,the mobile phone subscriptions in developing countries still at a low level,less than 0.5 billion.Surprisingly,it reached more than 3.5billion in 2008 within no more than 8 years.During this period,subscriptions related to developed country,however,were on a steady rise.
I assume there are at least two fundamental factors to account for the above-mentioned changes.First and foremost,from 2000,the rapid development of economy has occurred in developing countries,which leads to widespread acceptation of using mobile phone.In addition,developing countries’ population are much more than developed countries,which illustrates that developing countries’ market remains great potential.All these driving factors contributed a lot to the increase of mobile phone subscription in poorer countries.
From what has been discussed so far,we can conclude that the subscription of mobile phone is becoming a crucial element of our daily life.And the developing countries will keep pace with the development of world economy.

Answer 1

The above table clearly refects the mobile phone subscriptions in the developing and developed counties from 2000 to 2008. According to the diagram, the mobile phone subscriptions in developing countries still at a low level in 2000, which are less than 0.5 billion.Surprisingly, it had reached more than 3.5 billion within no more than 8 years. During this period,the subscriptions related to developed country,however,were on a steady rise.
I assume that at least two fundamental factors account for the above-mentioned changes. First and foremost, since 2000, the rapid development of economy has occurred in developing countries,which leads to widespread acceptation of using mobile phone.In addition, the population of developing countries is much larger than that of developed countries,which illustrates that developing countries’ market remains greater potential. All these driving factors contribute a lot to the increase of mobile phone subscription in poorer countries.
From what has been discussed ,we can draw a conclusion that the subscription of mobile phone is becoming an indispensable element of our daily lives. And the developing countries will keep pace with the development of world economy.

语法错误不多,但是感觉很生硬,有点汉语思维

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