我这篇作文有什么语法错误呢?哪位大哥大姐知道?知道的话帮我纠正纠正,offeringseatscompulsoryforyoungpassengeersNowadays,offeringseatsforelderarecommonmattersineverywhere.Recently,Therehassprungupaheatedde

Question

我这篇作文有什么语法错误呢?哪位大哥大姐知道?知道的话帮我纠正纠正,
offering seats compulsory for young passengeers
Nowadays,offering seats for elder are common matters in everywhere.Recently,There has sprung up a heated debate as to whether offering seats for young passengers.Different people has different opinions,some people think that young passengers should offer seats compulsory for elder,because young people are stronger than elder in physical condition,the elder aren't subjected to shake in bus,which make them fall down easily,besides,they think respecting elder is a good ethic.others think differently,they think young people has no duty to offer seats for elder,because they think that young people are so tired after work,they need a time to have a rest.As far as i am concerned,i agree with the former opinion,for one thing,the traditional ethic in China should be spread,which require us to respect elder.it contribute to develop the friendly city;for another thing,elder should be looked after,because their physical condition has decreased,so we should pay more attention to them.
我这篇作文想要些的内容是：
现今,为老人让座是每个地方常见的事情,最近,关于是否让座给年轻人这一话题,人们讨论激烈,不同的人有不同的看法,有些人认为年轻人应该让座给老人,因为年轻人的身体状况比老人要好,老人不能经受车里的摇晃,这样会使他们容易摔倒,除此之外,他们认为尊敬老人是一种好的品德,其他人想的不同,他们认为年轻人没有义务让座给老人,因为他们认为年轻人下班后太累了,他们需要时间去休息.依我所见,我同意前者的观点,首先先,中国传统道德应该被传播,这就要求我们要尊重老人,这能促进和谐社会的发展,另外,老人应该被照顾,因为他们的身体状况下降了,所以我们应该要更关注老人.

Answer 1

　　offering seats compulsory for young passengeers
Nowadays,offering seats for  elder are（is） common matters in（everywhere是adv,in去掉） everywhere.Recently,There has sprung up a heated debate as to（个人认为也可以用on） whether offering seats for young passengers.Different people has（have） different opinions,some people think that young passengers should offer seats compulsory（去掉） for elder,because young people are stronger than elder in physical condition,the elder aren't subjected to shake in bus,which makes them fall down easily,besides(好),they think respecting elder is a good ethic.others think differently,they think young people has no duty to offer seats for elder,because they think that young people are so tired after work,they need a（去掉） time to have a rest.As far as i am concerned（这个不错）,i agree with the former opinion,for one thing,the traditional ethic in China should be spread（spread在这句里面应该是作为动词,美德应该被发扬,被动,所以spreaded）,which requires us to respect elder.it contribute to develop the friendly city;for another thing,elder should be looked after,because their physical condition has decreased,so we should pay more attention to them.
我还有几点建议：
1.（1）亲你在文章中用了很多次think,其实可以用别的次来替代,这样老师可能会觉得你词汇量会比较丰富,用词比较灵活.譬如可以用consider、reckon、hold the opinion that,还有很多（毕业太久了有点忘了= =）；（2）because可以用the reason that、as、for the sake of等代替,这个亲你可以在网上搜索应该有很多的；（3）文中young people和elder可否用别的词替换?
2感觉你的句型好像有点简单了,虽然每句都翻译到位了,但是可能多数都是由简单句组成,如果想要得高分的话可能有点难哦.
3亲你在文中穿插的一些连词用得不错
亲继续努力~!这个应该是四六级作文吧?