我做的一篇考研英语小作文训练,Towhomitmayconcerned:Theconnectionofthepeoplefromdifferentcultureincreasinglycloser,alanguageusedbyspeakerofmanydifferentlanguagestointeractwitheachotherismoreandmoreimportant.

Question

我做的一篇考研英语小作文训练,
To whom it may concerned:
The connection of the people from different culture increasingly closer,a language used by speaker of many different languages to interact with each other is more and more important.So i want to contribute to the promotion in Mandarin.I am writing to ask if it is possible for you to recommend a foreigner as a candidate in the promotion in Mandarin.
It would be most helpful if the candidate of the promotion in mandarin is a foreigner living or studying in China.The candidate should be a Chinese fans that whose Chinese is been willing to be improved,that who is interested in Chinese culture.
I would like to teach the candidate Chinese through two aspects.One aspect is to improve the candidate’s oral and written level in Chinese through daily conversation and the learning of grammar and vocabulary.Another aspect is to broaden the knowledge of the candidate to the rich Chinese culture.
This activity is beneficial no matter to the Chinese learning of the foreigner or to the promotion in mandarin.I really appreciate your help and look forward your early reply.
Yours Sincerely,
Li Ming

Answer 1

一,单词太多,不用这么多次
二,语法错误太多,特别是句子结构错误真的很多
1,第一句就错了,同学,前面分句改成with the connection .culture becoming .
2,第二段最后一句,that who 是几个意思啊,搞清楚这个从句的结构没有?
就粗略改了下,语法太差,阅读很吃亏的