帮忙改改这篇作文ItwasasunnydayinJune7thwhenwehadatriptoShanghaiPark.wesetoutat6:30a.m.byschoolbus.Theprogrammewasveryiteresting.Wewentaroundtheparkandtookphotosinthemorningandhadapicnicatnoon.Wewereal

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帮忙改改这篇作文
It was a sunny day in June 7th when we had a trip to Shanghai Park.we set out at 6:30a.m.by school bus.The programme was very iteresting.We wentaround the park and took photos in the morning and had a picnic at noon.We were all so tired that we could do notjing but yawn.What nice palaces these are!At last,we had a class meeting when we come back.I think this trip will be a good memory.
错的地方请写出来,

Answer 1

We went for a travel to Shanghai Park on Jun 7th ,it was a sunny day.After gathering at the school gate at 6:30 ,we went them by bus.
In the morning ,we traveled around the park ,taking photoes and playing games .Then ,after we enjoying our activities ,we had a delicious picnic at noon.Although we all exhausted ,we felt happy .
Before coming back ,we had a class meeting about summarying the trip .I think we will remeber this day forever.
"On Jun" It was that而不是when set out 只是对应6：30,不能照应by bus 所以要+动名词going by bus 什么事programme?机动游戏?这里应该指代清楚 came back.