我写了一片英语短文,不知有何错误,里面’、、、谢谢指出,感激不尽!Hughissofatthathehasgoneonadiet.hehasforbidenhimselfallfoodshelikes,buthehasneverlosthisweight.whenivisitedhimyesterday.hehidalar

Question

我写了一片英语短文,不知有何错误,里面’、、、谢谢指出,感激不尽!
Hugh is so fat that he has gone on a diet.he has forbiden himself all foods he likes,but he has never lost his weight.when i visited him yesterday.he hid a large parcel under his desk.the parcel contained chocolate and sweets.But Hugh said that he had to reward for himself occasionally because he was too strict to him.

Answer 1

Hugh is so fat that he has gone on a diet.
是不是has decided to begin on a diet 也可以
he has forbiden himself all foods he likes,but he has never lost his weight.
has forbiden改为forbade是不是更好些
另外has never这个has似也可去掉
或者he never succeded in losing
when i visited him yesterday.he hid a large parcel under his desk.the parcel contained chocolate and sweets.
hid 变成was hiding
去掉后面的the parcel,变成containing chocolate and sweets.
But Hugh said that he had to reward for himself occasionally because he was too strict to him.
reward for 中去掉for
strict to 中to 改为with
strict with sb意为对某人要求严格